


All over the years

by Feenaa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angry Louis, Asthma attack, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Louis doesn't believe Harry, Love, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Harry, Slow Build, True Love, not happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:19:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenaa/pseuds/Feenaa
Summary: Harry loved Louis through all his life,Louis didn't know that, but will he know when it's too late?True love lives through the years,That's how Louis will learn his lesson.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this.years ago, but with some differences, it was between a boy and a girl, so I amde some changes, I hope you will like it, because I enjoyed writing it a lot,

Time 2000,  
Place, Cheshire, the play ground of the school,  
Harry was watching his neighbour, and best friend practice football, while he was doing his home work on the field, he was watching Louis from time to time, Louis was waving for him to show him his skills, Harry only cheered for him and always supported him,  
They were young, Louis was eleven while Harry was 8, they used to go to school and leave together, so when Louis has practice, Harry was waiting for him, just like today,

When Louis finished, he was upset, the couch didn't like how he played today, Louis didn't play well anyway, his mind was already taken, his mom was about to give birth to his twin sisters, and Louis was worried about his mom so much,

He grasped his bag and walked to Harry who was still doing his homework, when Harry saw him he frowned,

“ let's go Hazza..” Louis said,

Harry gathered his stuff and put them in his bag, he then stood up and looked at Harry again,

“ what's wrong Lou?”,

Louis shrugged, and walked away, Harry followed running,

“ why are you sad..”,

“ I'm not sad..”,

Harry looked back at the couch “ did the couch tell you anything.. I can go to talk to him , he likes me..”

Louis smiled “ everyone likes you Harry, and no, just let's go..”,

Harry only followed, but Louis was really sad, and Harry wanted to cheer him up, he looked around for anything, then he sae an ice cream car, 

“ wait for me Lou..”,

Louis impatiently “ now what Harry..”,

“ just wait..”,

And Harry ran towards the car, when he put his hand in his pocket, the money wasn't enough, he just bought one for Louis, with strawberry flavour, just as he likes,  
He returned back, and then he gave Louis the cone,

“ what is this Hazza?” Louis asked surprised,

Harry smiled “ it's for you.. you are sad..”,

Louis smiled and took the cone “ I'm not sad.. I'm worried..”,

Then they started to walk again,

“ why?”,

Louis eating “ why didn't you bring yourself one?”,

Harry only shrugged “ no, I don't want for now, plus strawberry induces my asthma.. now tell me why you are worried?”,

Louis “ she is my mom, she is giving a birth any time now..”,

Harry excited “ is she having the twins now?”,

Louis “ not now Harry.. but soon..”,

When they reached Harry's home, they found Gemma waiting outside, when she saw them she said ,

“ Louis.. come here..”,

Louis and Harry walked towards her, she smiled ,

“ your mom is having the babies now.. “,

Louis looked at her shocked, Gemma “ relax, she was okay and she will be okay, Lottie and Fizzy are with your father, and they asked me to keep an eye on you..”,

Then she almost laughed, Gemma wasn't that old,

“ okay come on , let's get inside, mom will come and get us when the babies are out..”,

Louis followed Gemma and they all entered the house, Gemma put them dinner and they all ate some pizza, then Harry just lied on the couch promising he wont sleep, but he did at once,

Louis didn't leave his place, he was worried about his mom, he was worried about the babies,

Two hours later, Anne came back, Jay was okay, the babies were okay, she took Louis, Harry, and Gemma back to the hospital, Louis's heart was beating fast, he was so happy to meet his baby sisters and he was more happy that his mom was okay, 

Harry and Louis were looking at the babies, Harry was so excited,

“ they look beautiful Lou.. they are so small..”,

Louis nodded still looking at his sisters ,

Harry “ they are two lovely girls, now you have four sisters..”,

“ I do..”,

“ and no brother..”,

“ no Harry I have one brother..”,

Harry looked at Louis “ where?”,

Louis smiled and he looked at Harry “ it's you idiot, you are my brother..”,,

Harry smiled “ no, we are friends, you are my friend”,

Then he looked back at Louis sisters,

2006

 

Louis was seventeen, Harry was fifteen now,  
Again Louis was practicing in the play ground alone, Harry was sitting on one bench doing his homework, Louis was calling him, but Harry had headphones in his ears, so Louis finally hit him with the ball,  
Harry looked at him shocked, he put his hand on his head where the ball violently hit him,

“ what the...”,

Louis was watching laughing “ you idiot, I've been calling you..”,

Harry put the headphones away, and he looked at Louis,  
“ what..”,

Louis walked and sat beside him “ tell me what to do..”,

Harry “ about what..”,

Louis “ the prom..”,

Harry sighed “ God , not again..”,

Louis “ what if she said no..”,,

Harry carelessly looking back at his book “ she wont say no..”,

Louis “ what makes you the expert..”,

Harry “ I just know..”,

Louis angrily “ Harry pay attention..”,

Harry looked at him “ we talked about this like million times Louis.. you are the football captain team, she is the cheerleader head, of course she wont say no.. in fact she must be waiting..”,

Louis sighed “ you are probably right..”,

Harry “ I am..” then he looked back at his book,,

Louis sighed again “ but what if she likes Zayn..”,

Harry “ God....”,

He looked at Louis, then he closed his book and put it at his bag, Louis was watching,

“ why are you angry this much .?”,

Harry stood up “ Zayn likes Gigi.. everyone knows that..”,

Louis “ okay, where are you going?”,

Harry “ home..”,

Louis confused “ now...”,

“ yes Louis now..”,

Louis “ why are you mad at me..”,

Harry sighed “ I'm not.. I just had a lot of study..”,

Louis “ okay.. are you coming..”,

Harry “ where?”  
,  
Louis “ to the prom..”,

Harry looked down “ I don't know..”,

Louis “ what's wrong with you.. damn it..”,

Harry sighed “ I will go home Louis..”,

And he left him, walking to his home, he was angry, of course he was, but he also was sad,

At the middle of the night, Harry was lying at the ceiling of his home, looking at the stars, it was his favourite place, where he is alone, thinking, crying, singing,  
It was his shelter, his home,

Then he heard noises, and a minute later, there was a head touching his, and he knows who that was,

“ your mom says you are sleeping.” Louis asked,

“ I told mom I am sleeping.. ” Harry said still staring at the stars ,

Louis “ are you mad at me..”  
,  
Harry sighed “ no Louis.. really, I'm not mad..”,

Louis “ are you sure?”,

Harry nodded “ I'm sure..”,

Louis smiled “ good.. I called Eleanor..”,

Harry's heart was beating fast, “ and?”,

Louis “ you were right Hazza, she said yes.. she was waiting..”,

Harry tried to smile, he did “ that's a good news Louis..”,

Louis nodded “ it's.. I was so worried..”,

Harry “ no need for this.. I told you..”,

Louis nodded “ you did..”,

Then they kept silent , then “ I will miss this..”,

Louis started, “ I will miss us Harry.. next year will be awful..”,

Harry smiled “ no.. it will be amazing, you have Zayn..”  
,  
Louis “ yes.. and El..”,

Harry “ El?”,

Louis “ Eleanor.. she loves to be called El..”,

Harry tried again to smile “ beautiful name..”,

Louis smiled “ but we will wait for you champ.. we will wait for you..”,

Harry only nodded, swallowing his tears, but he couldn’t cause some failed him and they fell down his face,

Louis “ Harry?”,

Harry “ emhee..” he couldn’t talk,

Louis “ are you sure you are okay?”,

Harry “ I am..”,

Louis “ okay.. are you coming..”,

“where?”,

“ the prom Harry..”,

Harry shrugged “ I don’t know yet..”,

Louis sighed “ okay Harry, when you know tell me..”,

Then he moved “ I have to for home.. mom must be looking for me..”,

“ kay..”,

“ you should go too, you will upset your asthma, it's getting cold..” Louis said while leaving, and Harry didn’t answer that, he couldn’t, cause he only cried, and cried, he knows it's hard to fall for your best friend, but he couldn’t help it really , he just did.

 

Next week, it was two days before the prom, Harry was looking for Louis, he couldn’t find him anywhere, then he decided to look for him in the playground, he didn't find him, but he found Zayn with Gigi,

“ looking for someone Harry?” Zayn asked,

Harry looked around again “ I was look for Louis, he told me to wait for him to go back him , and I can’t find him..”,

Zayn “ he was here, he must be at the dressing room..”,

Harry nodded “ okay thanks..”,

Gigi “ hay Harry..”,

He looked at her “ are you coming to the prom?”,

Harry “ don’t know..”,

Gigi “ are you planning to”,

Harry sighed “ who are you trying to set me with Gigi..”,

Gigi only smiled “ Jessica is waiting for you..”,

Harry “ I cant believe her, I told her million of times I’m not interested..”,

Zayn “ well she knows and she talks..”,

Gigi angrily “ Zayn..”,

Zayn looked at her “ what? He needs to know..”,

Harry confused “ know what exactly?”,

Gigi “ never mind.. go look for louis..”,

Harry nodded, and he left, there was something happening, and he will ask Louis about it, he already feels like Louis was avoiding him, and that was making him angry , ,

He entered the dressing room, he called for Louis, but he didn’t answer, he heard some noises instead, Harry followed, and then he found Louis with Eleanor were making out, Harry gasped and then he stepped back, he trembled, he fell, then he walked away, running,

“ Harry..”,

Louis was calling, but he didn’t stop, Louis ran and grasped his arm, Harry turned to face Louis, he tried his best to control his voice, and to stop the tears,

“ what are you doing?”,

Louis asked , Harry “ I was looking for you, you were supposed to meet me..”,

Louis sighed “ no Harry, I told you I was leaving with Ell..”,

Harry frowned “ when?”,

Louis “ this morning.. but it seemed you, didn’t notice..”,

Harry “ Louis you never said a word to me since last week , what is happening..”,

Louis kept silent, Harry “ something is happening?”,

Louis looked down, “ what the hell?” Harry shouted,

Louis looked at him again “ are you going to the prom Harry?”,

Harry confused “ what does this have to do with...”,

Louis interrupted “ are you?”,

Harry sighed “ I don’t know.. “,

Then he said angrily “ why is this really important to you people, why are you keep asking me this..”,

Louis almost yelled “ people are talking Harry..”,

Harry “ saying what?”,

Louis looked down again, Harry yelled “ answer me..”,

Louis “ that you are gay Harry.. they keep saying this..”,

Harry looked at him shockingly “ oh my God , is this why you are avoiding me?”,

Louis looked down again, Harry yelled “ is this the reason..”,

Louis looked at him “ are you?”,

Harry looked at Louis , he stopped talking, then he shook his head, because he has to, he had to lie to protect his relation with Louis, he had to lie,,

Louis “ then come to the fucking prom. ask anyone and come, they are talking Harry and I keep fighting with them..”,

And Harry nodded, he only nodded, and then he walked away again leaving Louis, and he let the tears fall down, he cried hard, he was devastated, Louis was avoiding him because people thinks Harry was gay, what would happen when he knows the truth, that Harry is gay and he likes Louis, it hurt and Harry did nothing but cry.

Next morning, Harry had to ask a girl in his class to go with him to Louis's prom, she was kind girl and Harry really liked her, Louis was happy to see Harry going to the prom, but Harry wasn't happy seeing Louis with someone else, Louis noticed Harry wasn't okay, he seemed distant, but he didn’t ask him anything, he will ask him later,

After the prom Louis was suppose to leave to London, they were suppose to have a party together, Louis, Zayn and Harry, but Harry never showed, they waited for long for him but he never showed up, when Louis called his home, Ann told him Harry had a bad attack and je had to stay he, and he was sleeping,

Louis headed directly towards Harry's home, his room, he entered without knocking, Harry was there , not sleeping, he was sitting on his bed, hugging his legs, burying his face between his knees, Louis knew Harry was crying,

He sat by him on the bed,

“ Harry what's wrong..”,

Harry tensed, he didn't expect seeing Louis, at his room, now,

Louis played with Harry's hair,

“ come on Hazza what's wrong..”,

Harry didn't move, Louis “ I'm leaving Harry , I need to know you are okay..”,

Harry finally looked at him, eyes puffed, red,

Louis gasped “ why?”,

Harry sighed , but didn’t answer, Louis “ you are making me worried..”,

Harry was looking at Louis, but je didn't talk, he can't talk,

Louis “ Anne said you had an attack..”,

Harry looked down , Louis “ I knew there was something wrong with you Harry, I know..”,

Harry didn't move, Louis “ Harry, please answer me..”,

He looked at Harry, waiting, but nothing,

Louis sighed “ I have to go home to pack..”,

Again nothing,

“ Harry please..” Louis whispered almost crying, but nothing, Louis only took a deep breath, then he kissed Harry's forehead ,

“ I will see you in the morning Hazza..”,

And Louis left the room, and Harry kept crying, Harry was sad, he was devastated, he was broken,  
Next morning, when Louis entered Harry's room, Harry wasn't there, he looked everywhere but Harry wasn't there, not Anne or Gemma knew where he was, he just vanished, Louis had to leave without saying goodbye, he entered the car and took another final look for Harry, but Harry was there watching the live of his life leaving, and Harry had no idea if they will meet again, but they will.


	2. Chapter 2

2009, London,  
They grew older now, all in college, Louis in London, Harry in Manchester, they fixed whatever happened, and Harry had to keep his feelings for himself again,

Louis and Zayn were at a coffee shop eating their dinner, they were sitting with two girls Gigi, and other girl, which is happen to be Louis's new girlfriend,

“ I don't know Lou, he hasn't called me either..” Zayn said,

Louis was looking at his phone, he was trying to call someone ,

“ he promised to come, we will watch the match and then he leaves back to Manchester..”,

Gigi “ when was that?”,

Louis “ a week ago..”,

Gigi “ okay.. maybe he got busy with something..”,

“ or someone..” Zayn added, Gigi looked at him angrily,

Louis looked at them both “ okay, what is going on..”,

Gigi sighing “ nothing is going on, last time he called me, he told me about a girl.. he thinks he likes her..”,

“ thinks?”,

Gigi shrugged eating fries from the plate in front of her “ you know, we were just talking, and I pushed him to tell me anything..”,

Louis nodded, Harry didn't say anything about any girl, and Harry never hides anything from Louis, Louis knows harry was different ever since he left for college, but he thought they worked things out, it was three years ago, but lately Harry started to avoid Louis, not answering all his calls, not calling him every weekend as they used to do, Louis kept asking Harry what happened and Harry kept denying , so Louis decided to stop asking till they meet face to face , which was supposed to be today, but Harry didn't show up, and that pissed Louis off,

Louis only nodded, then Louis's girlfriend , Sarah,

“ of course he has a girl in his life, I’ve seen his photos, he is handsome like hell..”,

Zayn smiling “ I know right.. I'm sure there is something going on with his life..”,

Louis was listening to the continuous conversation about How Harry is cute, how Harry is handsome for the coming ten minutes, he didn’t say a word, he was just worried about his friend, Harry didn’t answer his phone, He didn't even call later, that scared him somehow,

 

Next morning, Harry woke up feeling something beside him on the bed, when he turned his back to see, it was someone, brown curls were all he could see, but he knows that smell, he know that warm ,

“ Harry?..”,

Louis said frowning, when did Harry come, why didn’t he feel anything,

Harry didn’t move, louis had to stir him to wake him up, and slowly, Harry moved, but didn’t talk, he was sleeping deeply,

Louis moved the curls from Harry's face, and slowly Harry opened his eyes,

“ how the hell did you get in here?”,

Harry closed his eyes again, and flipped so he was now on his back,

“ I called you..” Harry said..

Louis looked at Harry, he looked tired “ Harry..”,

Harry didn't answer, he slept again,

Louis “ come on Harry..” he pushed him , but Harry murmured “ let me sleep, Lou..”,

Louis just shook his head in disbelief, he left the bed, and went outside the room leaving Harry alone,

In the kitchen , sitting Zayn drinking some hot tea, when he saw Louis, he was surprised 

“ Louis Tomlinson is up this early!!”,

Louis “ Harry is on my bed..”,

Zayn nodded “ oh yeah, he came up very late.. how is he?”,

Louis frowned “ what do you mean?”,

Zayn shrugged “ I don't know, he didn’t look okay, he didn’t say anything, and I didn’t push him..”,

Louis didn't talk after this, he just stayed there waiting for Harry to wake up, it didn’t happen ,

Three hours later, Louis decided to wake him up, he entered the room, and Harry actually was awake, he was staring in front of a mirror, looking at his reflection, lifting his shirt up, when he saw Louis entering he hastily dropped his shirt, and looked at him, he tried to act calm, but Louis knew he was nervous,

Louis was still on the door frame, when he said ,

“ you are awake?”,

Harry nodded, and then he walked towards the bed ,

“ just now..”,

Louis was watching Harry “ where have you been, I called you like million times..”,

Harry nodded “ yeah I'm sorry.. I was .. busy..”,

Louis bite his lower lip, Harry was hiding something, Louis tried his best not to get angry,

“ okay, what happened?”,

Harry shook his head “ nothing.. what do you mean?”,

fine he will drop this for now, Harry really did looked pale, we wasn't okay,

“ okay , are you hungry?”,

 

Harry stood up “ yeah..”,

Louis walked towards the kitchen followed by Harry, Harry was calm, almost silent, something was wrong and that was making him anxious,

Harry sat on the table, Louis already made him some sausage, and scrambled egg, he put the plate in front of Harry, and then he put the cup where hot tea was freshly made, and sat in front,

Harry started to eat, slowly, lost in his thoughts,  
“ so how is the college for you?”,

Harry looked at Louis “ it's good..”,

Louis was still watching, still trying to remain calm “ the studies?”,

Harry shrugged “ not easy.. but I'm on it..”,

Louis nodded “ yeah, I heard Medicine was hard..”,

Harry nodded “ where is Zayn?”,

Louis “ he has a class..”,

Harry was playing with the food by the fork,

Louis couldn’t hold it “ you are okay?”,

Harry nodded “ when will we go to the game?”,

Louis sighed “ what's wrong Harry.. are you avoiding me..”,

Harry shook his head, but he didn’t talk, Louis now was worried “ Hazza?”

Harry sighed, he looked at Louis “ I'm not avoiding you..”,

Louis almost yelled “ what are you not telling me.. you've been avoiding me, for weeks now.. what is happening?”,

Harry was annoyed by the load tune “ why are you yelling at me..”,,

Louis “ because you are lying to me.. you are hiding things..you have a girlfriend now!!”,

Harry “ what things!, girlfriend?!!”,

Louis slammed his hand on the table “ you tell me..”,

Harry looked at Louis's hand, then he left the table moving towards the room again,

And no, Louis won’t let him run , Louis followed running behind Harry,

“ you won't run away..”,

Harry sighing “ I'm not running away..”,

Louis grasped his arm violently, he made Harry looked at him, Louis looked back for anything, anything to reassure him,

Harry looked at Louis's hand “ let me go Louis..”,

Louis “ why are you avoiding me..”,

Harry sighed “ oh my God.. I told you I'm not..”,

Louis pushed Harry to the wall “ God damn you Harry, why are you making it so hard..”,

Harry “ making what so hard, God Lou.. I know it would be a mistake..”,

Then he entered his room, and took his jacket, Louis “ where the hell are you going?”,

Harry “ I'm coming home..”,

Louis took Harry's jacket violently, and then he pushed Harry to the bed, Harry stumbled and fell in the ground, and he screamed awfully grasping his chest, Louis looked at him shockingly, there was something wrong, he sat by Harry on the floor, 

“ what's wrong...”,

Harry's eyes turned glassy, and then he rested his back on the bed,

Louis “ you are hurt!”,

Harry only sighed, Louis was frantic now “ who hurt you?”,

Harry shrugged “ I don't know.. I was attacked..”,

Louis looking at Harry examining by his eyes “ what do you mean attacked? Someone hurt you?”,

“ and stole me..”,

Louis sighed “ crap.. when did this happen?”,

Harry “ last night.. they took my money, my phone, my watch..”,

Louis “ shit.. how did they hurt you..”,

Harry only shrugged. Louis “ how bad is it?”,

Harry sighed “ not bad, just a bruise..”,

Louis “ show me..”,

“ no..”,

“ please..”,

Harry slowly lift his shirt, and Louis almost gasped, there was a huge purple mark on his side, Louis didn't touch , he knows it hurts, 

“ it's not as bad as it looks" Harry said looking at Louis's glassy eyes, and God he misses his eyes,

Louis nodded still looking at Harry’s bruise “ where are these bastards, where did this happen?”,

Harry sighed “ it's okay Lou.. they are gone anyway..”,

Louis looked at Harry’s eyes “ how is this okay.. look at you..”,

“ I know...”,

“these bastards have to pay..” Louis was angery,

 

“ Lou..”,

“ I will find them Harry, just tell me where..”,

“ Lou..”,

Louis looked at him , Harry “ please , stop..”,

“ they hurt you. “ Louis whispered,

“ I'm fine..”,

Louis looked at Harry for long, finally he nodded, he can do nothing, he was angry, he was worried, someone hurt Harry, his long friend Harry, his Harry,

After that Harry went to have a shower, he left Louis after promising he was okay, Louis finally believed him, he let him have his showe, and Harry was happy, he loves when Louis worries about him, that’s how he knows Louis cares, maybe differently, but he loves to pretend that Louis actually care, care about Harry like Harry cares about him,

Harry really was avoiding Louis, because simply it hurts, it hurts very much and Louis knows nothing, he treats Harry as his best friend, but Harry wants more, Harry stopped answering his calls because he can’t stand hearing Louis talks about his girlfriend, he stopped seeing him because he gets afraid if he sees him he mighet show his love to him, what if he acted wrongly, if Louis knows the true feelings, because simply Louis will leave, forever,

Harry wasn’t gay for every man , he was just gay for Louis, which really was confusing, he loves Louis the most, but he can't imagine himself loving anyone else.

When Harry went out of the shower, with his bare chest , he looked for Louis, but he didn’t find him, he found a lady instead standing in the kitchen, pulling some tea on a cup,

She felt Harry and she turned to face him, she looked at him up and down , and then she smiled 

“ you must be Harry..”,

Harry nodded, she smiled wider “ oh I'm Sarah.. Louis's girlfriend..”,

So this is Sarah, Harry tried to smile, she handshake him, he looked around,

“ he has to go to the pharmacy.. he needs to get you some painkillers..”

Harry nodded, she looked again at his naked broad chest “ so you fell?”,

Harry nodded, she bit her lower lip, and then passed her finger through his chest slowly till his bruise, Harry frowned, what was she doing,

“ does it hurt..”,

Harry stepped away “ I have to dress something..”,

And he almost ran outside the kitchen, Harry was confused, what was Sarah doing, did she just do that..

“ it looks bad..”,

Harry didn’t feel her following, and now he felt uncomfortable, he wore his shirt now,

“ I'm okay..” he said nervously,

She got closer, and he was more nervous “ I think you need to be taken care of..”,

Harry stopped at his place, because he was overreacting, she loves Louis, just like he loves her, and what was she trying to do means nothing,

Harry said “ I said I'm fine..”,

She nodded, and then she sat on the bed, looking at Harry again, but with lust this time ,

“ so Harry.. you have a girlfriend?”,

Harry didn’t want to talk, he wanted to leave the room, leave the whole flat, 

Sarah “ am I making you uncomfortable Harry?”,

Harry shook his head “ I have to leave..”,

He was about to leave the room, when she grasped his arm “ where to..”,

Then she got more closer, 

“ what are you doing?”,

 

“ I'm home..”,

They both heard from outside, Harry almost ran outside, followed by Sarah, Louis was standing at the middle of the flat looking at them both,

“ so you met..”,

Sarah answered “ yes baby..” then she walked and kissed Louis on his lips, then she looked at Harry without being noticed,

Louis “ come here Hazza, I brought you some painkillers..”,

Harry walked towards Louis, because he had too, he was shocked, he was confused, but he didn’t know what else to do,

Louis sat on the couch and Harry sat beside him, Sarah was watching them, Harry felt her eyes on him and it burned,

Louis gave Harry two pills and Harry just took them and headed to the kitchen to drink some water,  
He was trying to control himself, he took a minute, and when he turned, she was there, smiling at him,

Harry “ Sarah what do you want?”,

Sarah got closer “ nothing, I want to know my boyfriend best friend, we could be good friends one day Harry..”,

Then she passed her fingers on his face, Harry broke the touch, and he wanted to leave the kitchen,

“ why are you running?” she asked,

Harry looked at her “ what do you want?",

She again got closer “ I want you..”,

And that was it, Harry left the kitchen, almost running, he was met by Louis in front of his face, Louis smiled widely 

“ hay.. why so fast?”,

Harry tried to control his shaking voice, 

Louis “ get ready, we will leave in yen minutes.. I will wait for you at the car..”,

Harry hastily “ no..”,

Louis frowned “ it's in front of the building.. don't take long..” then he looked at Sarah “ are you coming baby?”,

Sarah smiling “ I will follow..”,

Louis nodded smiling “ okay.. don't be late both of you..”,

Sarah smiling “ don't worry.. I will wait for him..”,

Louis left the flat, Harry watched him leaving, then he moved to the room, he will just wear the shoes, and the jacket, and will follow,

Sarah of course followed Harry “ am I making you nervous?” again she asked.

Harry was wearing his shoes “ no..”,

Sarah walking towards him “ but you make me..”,

Harry sighed , he took his jacket “ what are you doing Sarah.. is this a prank? “,

Sarah stopped in front of him “ I was waiting for you Harry, for long long time..”,

Harry “ why?”,

Sarah “ cause he likes you.. and I want to know why",

Harry “ i'm his best friend, that's why..”,

Sarah smiling “ you are an idiot..”,

Then she kissed him, yes, just like that, Harry cut the kiss, looking at her eyes wide ,

“ are you crazy, what are you doing..”,

Sarah “ if you say a word .. trust me .. I will destroy what ever is between both of you..”,

Harry “ why?”,

“ I have to protect us.. you are a thread Harry Styles.. and you know nothing about it..”,

Then she left the room, leaving Harry in a shock, what was she saying, what is really happening, Harry was this close from losing his mind, he can't tell Louis what just happened, but he also can't let his best friend falling for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think guys, I really want your comments for this fic,


	3. Chapter 3

During the match, Harry was so not focused, he was anxious, nervous, and he felt he was this close from an asthma attack, 

He refused to sit beside Louis, instead he sat beside Zayn, he knows Zayn won’t ask questions, and he knows Zayn will respect Harry’s silence,

Their team was winning, they all were so excited, and Harry was trying, he really did, after the third goal, where literally all the crowd cheered and yelled, except for Harry, he excused himself to use the loo, he needed a time alone, he needed to focus and not to attract his friends eyes,

Once he left the stall, he saw Zayn right in front of his eyes, he was extremely nervous, but he tried to hide his shaking body,

“ are you okay?” Zayn asked, 

Harry moved to wash his hands and he avoided looking at Zayn

“ yeah.. I'm fine.. you didn’t have to come really..”,

Zayn walked and stood right beside him “ Harry what is wrong? Louis told me you were attacked..”,

He nodded “ yeah.. it happened.. but I'm fine..”,

Zayn was still watching “ okay.. as you like.. but I just want to make sure you are okay..”,

Harry sighed and he nodded, Zayn “ okay.. let's go..”,

After the match , they all insisted to have their lunch in the cafe they all used to go to, Harry had to accept because he has no other choice, he tried to act as normal as he can, but he knew Zayn and Louis knew there was something wrong with him, 

When they finally were home, Harry immediately took his shower, and lied himself on Louis's bed, he wanted to sleep , he wanted to shut his mind down , he wanted to run.

Once he felt heavy, the cover was removed from him, and someone literally jumped on the bed, Harry was startled , he opened his eyes wide, his heart went crazy, was beating fast, and he was coughing badly now,

“ hay.. sorry Hazza.. didn’t mean to scare you..”,

Harry looked at the worried Louis now, and he coughed more, Louis now knew what was happening, he acted frantically

“ what.. Harry.. what..”,

Harry was struggling to breath now, 

Louis jumped from the bed “ oaky.. okay.. where is your inhaler now?”,

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, he clutched his shirt, wheezing and coughing violently,

Louis “ Harry.. answer me..”,

Harry knows he has no inhaler, his bag was stolen, and now he was more scared,

Then the door was opened and Zayn entered, 

“ what’s wrong..”,

Louis frantically “ I think it’s his asthma.. and I can’t find his inhala-.. shit , shit, you don’t have any..it was in the bag .. right..”,

Zayn ran outside the room, while Louis sat back on the bed rubbing Harry’s thigh looking at Harry’s face, they had done this before, when Harry was younger and they were playing some football, his asthma attacked again, and he had no inhaler, so they sat together and tried to save the day, 

“ Zayn is getting you one.. so calm down okay..”,

Harry was still closing his eyes, but he nodded, he was focusing in breathing, in and out, it was a struggle but he knows he can do it,

Zayn came back in with an inhaler in his hand , he gave it to Louis, and he looked at Harry patting on his back,  
Louis shook the inhaler and he put the mouthpiece in Harry’s mouth, and Harry grabbed the inhaler like his life depending on it, which was nearly true, and he had two puffs,

Then he rested the inhaler on bed, he felt breathing again, his chest was getting relaxed gradually, then he felt two sets of eyes were on him,

He looked at them, and slowly smiled,

Zayn smiled back, while Louis just left the whole room,  
Zayn looked back at Harry 

“ he is worried..”,

Harry nodded , then he looked at Zayn “ Zayn... something happened..”

And he told him, because he doesn’t know what to do really, he told Zayn everything about what Sarah did with him, Zayn was shocked at the start, but then he told Harry, he didn’t like Sarah anyway, he never trusted her, Gigi never trusted her, he advised Harry that he had to tell Louis , he should tell Louis what he was dealing with,

Louis didn’t return bed again, and Harry had to look for him, still struggling a little with his breathing, but he was much better,

When he entered the kitchen, Louos was sitting drinking some tea,

“ are you okay?” Harry asked sitting beside him,

Louis didn’t move, didn’t look at Harry, he only shrugged,

“ what’s wrong?” 

Louis just shook his head, but he was upset, Harry could see that,

“ I'm sorry if I scared you..”

Nothing,

“ I just forgot that my inhaler was in the bag.. and the bag was stolen.. I just..”,

“ it's not just that..” Louis interrupted sternly,

Harry startled, and then he closed his mouth  
“ I don’t understand you..”,

Harry closed his eyes, Louis “ seriously.. what is wrong with you?”,

Harry sighed “ okay..”,

Louis left his seat, he was angry, actually he was furious,

“ why are you lying to me”,

“ I'm not lying to you..”,

“ God.. stop.. I can’t stand you anymore..”,

And Harry shut his mouth up,

“ you keep telling me everything is okay but I know nothing.. nothing is okay Harry, you are avoiding me.. tell me you are not .. come on.. if you don’t lie to me then tell me this is not true..”,

Harry only sighed, he looked down, he can’t tell him the truth, he simply can’t tell him why he avoids him, he can’t tell him what he feels about him.

Louis was watching Harry, he just sighed “ okay Harry.. I think you should leave..”,

Harry looked at him eyes opened wide “ what?”,

“ when you are ready to tell the truth... then we can talk..”,

Harry was totally shocked, he never expected that from Louis, never.

He knows Louis was worried about him, and he was pushing h to open up, but things were taking different route.

“ just go back Harry.. we will talk later..” and he left ,

Harry alone in the kitchen , his mind was racing how to fix this, how to tell Louis the truth without losing him, how even to tell him about Sarah.

Next morning , Harry and Zayn were in the kitchen , Harry was full dressed, he was still shocked, didn’t sleep for a minute, extremely tired and exhausted,  
Then suddenly Louis showed,

He looked at both of them, and he sighed heading towards his kittle for some warm tea 

“ you still here?”,

Obviously talking to Harry,

Harry looked at Zayn, who gave him a small smile, then he stood up

“ Harry made us breakfast Lou..”, Louis ignored,

Zayn looked at Harry , he shrugged still smiling, then he said while leaving “ I have classes , so see you later.. both of you”,

And he left.

Harry looked back at Louis “ I'm sorry..” he started,

Louis took his tea, and he looked at Harry “ I don’t want you to apologize Harry..”,

Harry sighed standing up “ but I do.. I know I was avoiding you.. and I'm really sorry.. but it means nothing..”,

“ avoiding me means nothing to you?” Louis asking insistently,

“ no..” Harry was trapped, he knew Louis won’t take other than truth, a truth he knows he can’t say it, Louis can’t take it.

“ Louis .. you are my best friend..”,

Louis shook his head in disbelief, and then he was walking out the kitchen,

“ wait. “ Harry said,

Louis loo at him “ if you are trying to skip the truth and just sneak around it.. then I’m sorry I don’t want to listen..”,

“ what is wrong with you..” Harry said,

Louis looked at him “ no.. what is wrong with you...I don’t even know you anymore.. I know about you from other people..”,

“ what people..”

Louis sighed “ Harry.. I'm not in the mood for this... I think you should leave.. Sarah is on the way, and I don’t think she likes you..” ,

Ouch,

Harry looked at Louis “ okay.. but there is something you need to know about Sarah..”,

Louis looked at him “ really!!”,

Harry nodded, he still doesn’t understands Louis weird behaviour,

“ what Harry... was she trying to kiss you?” Louis asked mockingly,

Harry was shocked, he opened his mouth, he couldn’t answer, how did he know,

“ how did you know?”, Harry had to ask,

Louis looked at him also shocked “ oh my God... “,

He shook his head in disbelief, then the door bill rang, 

“ how did you know?” he asked again, but Louis already left to answer the door,

Harry was trying to think clearly, he was trying to understand what was happening, then he heard a woman voice, he knew it was Sarah,

Then she entered the kitchen followed by Louis, when he saw her, he looked down, he tried to think, he wanted to tell Louis about her,

Louis said “ Sarah ... Harry was just leaving..”,

Sarah looked between them “ really.. is he?”,

She looked at Harry for an answer, but Harry didn’t answer,

Louis “ yes really.. he is leaving now.. I will just wear something to drive him to the station..”,

Louis vanished inside , and Harry was left alone with Sarah, she looked at him up down, then she walked towards him,

“ did you tell him anything?” she asked,

Hrry didn’t talk, again he was nervous, he wanted badly to tell his friend, so he ends this,

Sarah stopped in front of him “ so.. did you?”,

He looked at her “ why are you doing this?”,

She said with a half smile “ I told you why... you are a thread..” she came even closer, her hand on playing with his curls,

He grasped her hand and put it down, trying to control his anger,

“ what are you talking about.. what threat?”,

She looked at his hand on hers, then she raised a brow smiling devilishly, “ you.. you are a threat Harry..”,

He took a deep breath to control his mouth from yelling, 

She looked at him, at his lips “ I understand why.. “,

“ I don’t..”,

She smiled looking at him with a lust “ cause he loves you..” then she kissed him on his lips, strongly,

She caught him off guard, at the start he didn’t understand what was happening, when he was trying to push her away, she bit on his lower lip,

“ what the hell..” it was Louis looking at them shockingly,

Sarah hastily moved away from him, crying, she looked at Louis, then she ran and hugged him,

“ oh my God... thanks God that you are here... do you believe me now?”,

Harry was looking at both of them out of breath , he was Breathing fast, his full body shaking, he put his finger on his burning lips , and he saw blood,

“ I can’t believe you..” Louis said looking at Harry furiously,

Harry frowned, he can’t talk, he was speechless and his mind couldn’t form a meaningful sentence,

Louis was embracing Sarah “ are you out of your mind?” Louis yelled now,

“ what?!!” that was all Harry could say,

Louis looked at Sarah who was crying now, he tried to calm her down,

“ what are you doing Louis..” Harry asked shocked,

Louis looked at him , then he left Sarah and walked towards Harry “ can you explain this?”,

“ explain? What do you think happened?” Harry askid confused,

Louis yelled “ I know what happened.. I saw what happened..”,

Harry whispered “ no..”,

“ you were kissing her... you .. out of everyone was kissing my girl..”,

Harry frowned “ no.. Lou.. I didn’t..”,

Louis shook his head in disbelief “ when she told me about yesterday.. I didn’t believe her... I didn’t want to... but obviously I was stupid.. “,

“ what did she tell you?”,

Then he looked at Sarah , and he couldn’t take it anymore “ what did you say?”,

Louis yelled at him “ don’t yell at her..”,

“ she lies..”,

Louis yelled “ no.. you lie.. it’s like your new habit nowadays..”,

Harry looked at Louis “ Lou.. what are you talking about? You don’t believe me?”,

Louis angrily “ no, I don’t.. I don’t believe you Harry.. because I know whem you lie... and you were lying to me..”,

Harry trying , he started to feel the chest pain again, and he was afraid

“ no.. not about this.. yesterday.. she did try to hit one me... she kissed me..”,

Sarah crying “ stop.. what are you talking about.. you kissed me..”,

Harry looked at both of them, he tried to breath, he tried to calm himself “ no..”,

Then he looked at Louis begging “ no.. Lou.. please.. I didn’t..”,

Louis looked at him “ I think you should leave..”,

Harry “ Louis..”,

Louis “ you heard me..”,

Then Harry looked at Sarah , he was going to attack her “ why.. why did you do this..”,

But Louis stopped him, he stood in front of him, and he pushed him , Harry hit the kitchen board violently that he fell on the ground, he didn’t care about the pain, he looked at Louis, eyes full of dread, he still can’t believe what Louis was doing, why?,

Louis looked at him, eyes were glassy, he hated what he did, but he saw what Harry did, Harry kissed his girlfriend, and he tried to kiss her last night, he was lying and he was hiding things from him,

Harry was looking at Louis, with pain, eyes shocked, his full body was shaking, and he know Harry was struggling to breath, Louis shook his head in disbelief, then he rushed outside the kitchen, he wanted to get Harry his inhaler, he wanted to sit and talk, he felt stupid for being angry at him, after all it was Harry,  
When he came back, there was no Harry, only Sarah sitting in tje kitchen table, she stopped crying,

“ where is he?”,

She shrugged, Louis called for Harry, Harry is having an attack again, he needs his inhaler, but Harry was vanished, Louis was in the middle of his apartment, he was shocked, did he really attacked Harry, did he really asked Harry to leave his place, did he chose Sarah over Harry, Sarah?

He always knows that Sarah wasn’t the one, he always felt she wasn’t treating him okay, he knows she hates Harry even before she meets him, 

He was angry at Harry, he felt that Harry was choosing someone else over him, that’s why he was not thinking , that’s why he attacked him, pushed him, but right now he needs to find him, he looked at the inhaler in his hand, and he felt panic, Harry was alone, having his attack alone, the thing that always scared Harry the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like it?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter , but I think I will write back in this story ❤

Louis looked for Harry for four hours in the streets, there was no sign of him. Louis was so angry at himself, it felt like He was hypnotized, how could he not trust Harry, how could he believed Sarah and not Harry. Sarah that he had a great feeling that she was cheating on him.

Louis tried to call Harry for thirty times, at the start Harry didn’t pick up, and then Harry's phone was turned off.

Louis was panicking, Harry had a bad history of asthma , and just before he left he was having an attack. He didn’t have his inhaler , he didn’t have his drugs and Louis literally was going crazy. If anything happened to Harry he won’t forgive himself , Ever.  
When Louis opened his flat door, he heard voices coming from Zayn room, Harry.

Ha entered to the room where the door was opened, but only Zayn was there taking on the phone, When he saw Louis' panicked face , he hanged up.

“ what happened?” he asked worried.

Louis tried to calm down “ have you herd anything form Harry?”

Zany nodded “ I was just with him"

“ what?”

Zayn still confused “ okay tell me what happened, because he was no different than you”

Louis “ where is he now? I have to see him"

Zayn “ you can’t”

Louis was getting angry “ come on Zayn..”

Zayn “ easy there.. you can’t see him because he is in the train heading back"

Louis closed his eyes in disbelief, Zayn still looking “ okay.. what happened?”

Louis looked at Zayn, and there was tears in his eyes. Zayn was shocked, but he knew it was be, so he didn’t talk. Louis sat on Zayn's bed and told him everything.   
And that was the last time Louis had seen Harry when they were on college. After that Harry changed his number and when he gave the number to Zayn he asked him not to give it to Louis. Zayn had accept anyway, and when he told Louis , Louis was understanding. He didn’t talk to Harry for days and days turned into months, and months turned into years.

 

******

2013,

It was February first, Louis was sitting alone in his large apartment now. He became a successful young lawyer. Although he was almost twenty five but he was something.

He was looking at the his iPhone that was lying in front of him on the coffee table, he was looking at the date . That date always meant something to him. It was Harry’s birthday.

Two days ago, Louis could get his number, he met Gemma and he asked her the number. She did know there was something wired happening between Louis and her brother, she knew they were not talking anymore, but she never knew the reason why.

Louis finally took the phone and pressed dial. He put the phone on his ear. He didn’t think he will be this nervous hearing Harry’s voice again. He never forget him , he never stopped thinking about him. But this year was different, Louis suffered a lot. His mom died at the beginning of the year at the same weak where he had the biggest case in His life, he lost the case too.   
Coming back home to bury his mom was a struggle, he expected Harry to come , but no he didn’t. He was still angry maybe.

“ hello..” Harry’s voice came from the other end, it seemed like he was already celebrating. Louis heard loud voices

“ happy birthday Harry..” Louis said trying to sound strong.

“ what ? Hello..” Harry almost yelling. “ wait a second”

Then Louis herd the noises was getting low gradually,  
“ I am sorry, can you say this again..”

Louis took a deep breath “ happy birthday..”

“ lou?” it came as a shock.

“ surprise..”

Harry didn’t talk for the next few seconds “ oh my God.. it’s you"

Louis smiled “ it’s me.. so Happy birthday”

“ thank you I guess..” then he heard a woman voice   
“ where did you go Harry”

Louis frowned, Harry Said “ I am Coming baby, just give me a second..”

Louis was terribly shocked now, what just happened,  
“ I am sorry Lou.. I...”

Louis hastily “ no, no.. I was just wishing you a happy year.. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything..”

“ no wait...”

“ take care Harry” and then he hanged up hearing Harry saying “ wait..”

Louis put the phone beside him , and now he can slap himself, what was he thinking anyway, did he really except Harry will be waiting for him and why, no one said anything to the other, Louis didn’t say he had feelings for Harry, Harry never said the same . So what was he thinking, and why did it hurt like this. It hurt bad and Louis felt he can’t breath okay. He rushed inside the balcony and took a big breath. The pain didn’t go and he didn’t expect himself collapsing this way.  
His phone rang , he looked at it on the table. He didn’t move from the balcony. But it didn’t stop ringing. Eventually he walked to it and it was Harry. Louis cried in pain and he threw the phone to the wall smashing it into million pieces. He felt stupid, he was stupid and he knew he will pay for this.

********

2014,

Louis was coming home for Christmas, first Christmas without his mom. So he couldn’t leave his sisters lone.  
He took couple of days off and he headed to his family home .

He was in the grocery shop when his name was called. Louis knew the voice, he turned to say

“ hello Gigi”

Gigi still looking surprised “ it’s really you"

Louis shrugged “ it’s really me"

Gigi hugged him tightly , looking at him up and down “ look at you..”

Louis laughed “ thank you.. you look marvellous yourself”

She smiled “ when did you come Louis? I didn’t know you are coming”

Louis sighed “ actually I wasn’t , but this is first Christmas without mom, so it’s not fair to the girls..”

Gigi nodded “look at good old brother you came”

Louis rolled his eyes “ stop it..”

Gigi laughing “ Zayn is gonna be shocked when he hear this .. listen.. we are making a party tonight, my house at eight"

Louis shook his head “ no I don’t think so"

Gigi frowned “ oh come on, everyone is going to be there.. me , Zayn Harry and Ed, come on"

But Louis froze at mentioning Harry, so Harry was here. And Louis was here. Louis stomach twisted and he felt he couldn’t take it anymore, he excused leaving Gigi confused, he left the whole place running outside to his car.

He can’t meet Harry again, but he felt he had to, he had to tell him his true feelings. He can’t live like this anymore. He had to explain. So he decided to go to the party. That night , he thought he was going to put an end.

He thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Louis anxiously was looking at himself in the mirror. He loved what he was wearing, simple baby blue shirt with original jeans. He hadn’t met his friends for long and wanted to look nice. He hadn’t met Harry for years, and he wanted to look attractive.

“ lou, where are you going?” asking Fizzy entering the room.

Louis started at her voice, he was sunken in his mind “you scared me fizz"

She frowned, “ Benny for your thoughts," she said sitting on his bed still looking at him.

He sighed and looked back at the mirror fixing his hair “ I have a party."

Fizzy nodded “ Gigi's party.. So did you meet her this morning?

He looked at her confused “how did you know about the party."

“we live her Louis. I met her two days ago, and she told me, and of course you met her this morning, you've just arrived last night",

He took a deep breath, and he sat beside her, “ I haven’t seen them for years...”

She nodded “ you will have fun, I think they will announce their engagement tonight”

Louis looked at her surprised, she nodded “ yup... He proposed two weeks ago."

He nodded and he looked down, he felt sad. This couple was his favourite. How could he let this happen? How could he let them slip away from his life. They tried, Zayn tried million times to keep in touch, it was him. He was drifted away got himself busy with his work, his work consumed all of his time and he didn’t find time for his childhood friends. He knew deep inside he was trying to run away from everything that might reminded him of Harry, as if he ever forgot him? Of course not. But it always caused him a heartache when they talked about him after their fight. And the next year when Zayn and Gigi finished their study and came back home, he didn’t. He couldn’t face himself, if b came back he will lose his mind, so he stayed on the city. Get himself so decent job, killed himself in it so he won’t find time for thinking. He didn’t know he will regret it one-day, but now he surely knew.

“what's wrong?” his young sister asked.

He looked at her and tried to smile “ nothing, it just I feel stupid, I was the worst friend ever, but they never held a grudge. I mean when mom died they all were there for me , side by side”

She nodded “yeah even Harry came to see us after the accident.”

Louis nodded but he froze and then he looked at Fizzy “ what?”

Fizzy looked confused “ Harry’s accident? Last year. please tell me you know."

Louis opened his mouth but didn’t speak, Fizzy sighed “shit, Lottie said you know."

Louis finally gathered himself up “ what happened?”

Fizzy looked down, Louis “ fizz?”he snapped angrily.

She nodded “ okay, it was a horrible car accident. I mean he barely survived. He stayed in a coma for a month."

Louis looked down, his full body was shaking “when?”

Fizzy “ oh God... He was in his way to mom funeral,"

Louis whispered, “no..”

Fizzy “ I am sorry Lou, I thought you had an idea. I mean he is Harry. I know you weren’t talking and I know you asked us not to mention his name again ever. But I thought you knew."

Louis looking down nodding trying to stay calm, he wanted badly to calm his body. He looked a his hand and they were shaking.

Fizzy put her hand on his “ I swear to god I thought you know. I mean you must felt something weird when all the Styles hadn’t showed up at the funeral. Mom and Anne were really close."

That was right, they were close. But Louis had another explanation for their absence. Maybe they all were angry at him for what he did to Harry years ago.

“he is fine now. I saw him last week, and he was okay, like nothing happened.”

Louis nodded again look at his hand that was surrounded by his sister’s hand, he couldn’t look at her in the eye. He would collapse, and he couldn’t fight the feeling that was growing in his chest.

Fizzy left him after that, and he stayed on his bed not moving. He begged himself to calm down, stop worrying, he was okay, Harry was okay.

Then he felt someone sitting beside him. He looked and she was Lottie looking at him smiling.

Louis finally let go, he Burst into tears and his sister hugged him, Lottie was the only one who knew how Louis felt about Harry, although they never talked about this, but she was close to Louis, and she could read her brother. 

“I am sorry. I should have told you."

Louis still on her shoulder “ why didn’t you?”

Lottie asked,“ he asked me not to."

Louis looked at her, Lottie “ I mean, we didn’t know what happened. No one told us because of mom death. They just called us on the phone and said they were outside Cheshire and they won’t be able to make it in time.But three weeks later Gemma showed up and she told us that he made an accident and he was still on the coma.”

Louis wiped his tears or cornering his eyes, Lottie “ he was in London and I couldn’t tell you. You were already upset and I was worried about you, at least I told myself I will tell you when he is awake, week later he was awake, I visited him... And he was awake and talking. He asked me not to tell you when he knew about mom."

Then she sighed,“ I promised him, Lou..”

Louis finally sighed,“ I called him."

Lottie didn’t understand, Louis continued “ at his birthday.”

Lottie closed her eyes “ that was you."

Louis was confused, Lottie “ it was a surprise party.. He had just left the hospital... He came back here and his family was celebrating, but at the middle of the celebration he got a phone call and he changed after it",

Louis shock his head in disbelief “ how could no one told me. I mean Zayn?”

Lottie “ I don’t know about Zayn.. I am sure he didn’t want to tell you at the start because of mom, but.. I guess Harry made him promise too."

Louis rubbed his face with his hands “ oh God..”

Lottie “ you should talk.. I mean whatever happened it was long time ago Lou.. you need to talk , both of you because I know he has feelings too"

Louis shook his head, Lottie “ I feel it.. just talk Lou. You both deserve a second chance.. your friendship deserves a second chance. I mean you were young and stupid when you fought I still can’t believe you let this fight came between you two, I thought you were stronger than this “

Louis didn’t talk, he thought they were stronger than this. But he couldn’t face Harry without telling him how he felt. And he was scared that it would destroy their friendship forever. Although their friendship was already destroyed but he didn’t want to make Harry feel guilty if he didn’t have the same feeling, he didn’t want Harry to hate himself for this. So he let Harry hate him instead for ruining their relation.

Lottie stood up “ okay, you are ready.. go and win him back”

Louis looked at her, she nodded smiling “ go, you don’t know when you will have this opportunity again... Go."

He looked down, again he was shaking. But he was excited, okay he will go, he will talk to Harry. He will finally put things in its right place.

*****

When Louis entered the house , he didn’t expect to meet all the school there. He felt like going back seven years . He felt home again, okay he saw them at his mother funeral but this time it was different. They hugged him. They celebrated his appearance. And he was feeling happy.

When he headed for a drink 

“you are finally here" Louis heard the voice he knew, he turned and he smiled “ hello Zayn”

Zany holding a glass in his hand looking at him smiling too, he was so handsome. Shorter hair that showed his face Bone structure.

Zayn moved towards him and gave him a tight hug “ I miss you man,"

Louis smiled , he missed this “ I miss you too.”

Zayn looked at him “ I didn’t believe Gigi when she told me.. I bet her you won’t show up, guess you should pay me ten pounds,"

Louis laughed “ ten? Aww"

Then Gigi came dancing singing “ I won.. I won"

She hugged Louis and then she looked taking Zayn “ I told you he will come"

Zayn nodding “ yeah, yeah.. I was just telling him"

Then they heard “ doctor Styles is here..” someone shouted, and Louis' heart stopped.

Gigi screamed “yayy” and she ran towards Harry, while Louis looked at him.

Zayn smiling “welcome home Hazza,” he said , and then walked to him.

Louis saw Harry hugging Gigi and he couldn’t breath. Not because he looked more handsome with his short hair. But because he missed him, so much, so Fucking much.

Harry then hugged Zayn, and was talk talking excitedly to the couple. It was when he embraced someone, a girl , and then she hugged both Gigi and Zayn.

Suddenly he heard his name was called, and the four of them were staring at him, Louis looked at Harry and Harry also was frozen. 

Then he saw Harry walking towards him, then he hugged him tightly. And dammit he missed that hug. 

Then he looked at him deep in they eye, where green met blue “ God Louis .. I missed you. I tried to contact you after your mom, I am so sorry"

Louis was staring at Harry’s eyes, those green eyes that hunted him for years, followed him in his dreams, 

“ I can’t believe you are actually here, when did you came I haven’t seen you around."

Louis caught himself staring, and he had to do something, he faked a cough and said as stead as he wished “ last night..”

Harry smiled widely, still looking at Louis upside down “ wow.. long time no sere Louis”

Louis nodded smiling, then he couldn’t help himself, he looked at the lady Harry was embracing seconds ago ,

Harry looked at her too, then he said “ Bella... This is Louis,“

Bella smiled and took a few steps fronts looking between Harry and Louis “ the Louis?”

Louis was shocked and confused, while Harry smiled “ the one and only.”

She offered her hand for a hand shake, and Louis took her hands, Harry “ this is Bella.. my fiance”

Okay what?!

All Louis could hear was Gigi screaming, then Gigi took Bella's hand and she looked at the ring, so that was true, that was happening, he got engaged.

Gigi hugged Bella then Harry, Zayn did the same. Louis was just starting, it felt like a dream. As if he was watching a show, just watching not a part in it. He felt Zayn nudged him in his arm. He looked at Zayn, and Zayn was staring at him, then he slightly moved his head towards Harry, as a gesture for Louis to congratulate him, Louis finally realized what was happening. He walked to Harry and hugged him smiling widely as a jerk , and then he looked at Bella and she was smiling too, he hugged her as he did with Harry. He spent the later five minutes when Gigi yelled at everyone and she announced the engagement of Harry and Bella, and then hers and Zayn.

Louis congratulated them too, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He was watching Harry from a distant but no. He couldn’t breath. He had to breath .

He took a glass of champagne, and he walked outside the house to the garden. He took a deep breath. And then he closed his eyes.

He chuckled. How fate works he didn’t know. Fate was mocking him. He had the chance multiple times before. He could win Harry , they could be together. But as usual he had to be arrogant. He had to be the stubborn he was today. He sighed and took a sip from his glass.

“ you are missing the party" Harry Said from behind, holding a bottle of beer in his hand.

Louis looked at him and chuckled, he looked in front again sitting on the front stairs,“ add them to the list"

Harry walked and sat beside him “ I didn’t expect to see you here"

Louis nodded looking down “ I didn’t expect to see me here”

Harry was still looking at him “ I missed you.. I missed you a lot, I tried to call you after that phone call you gave me last year.. But..”

Louis nodded “ yeah.. I change my number a lot"

Harry nodded, and you don’t give your number to your old friends... not even Zayn”

Louis sighed and shrugged “ life happens.. I guess" he really didn’t know what to say.

Harry nodded and finally decided to look in front to “ yeah.. life happens” then he took a sip from the bottle in his hand.

Louis looked at him “ so you are getting married?”

Harry nodded, Louis “ when?”

“New year’s eve"

Louis coughed shocked “ what the.. Are you serious?”

Harry didn’t expect that. He looked at Louis who was still coughing, he patted his back . When Louis stopped coughing “ sorry..”

Harry smiled, Louis “ but you are getting married in less than five days...”

Harry nodded again “ well... we know each other four years now... you've been living together two years now...So”

Louis was listening trying to control himself. He bit his lower lip to stop himself from talking,

“ I am sorry about your mom Lou..”

Louis closed his eyes, thankfully Harry changed the subject. Harry continued, “ I was coming but I..”

“here you are...” woman’s voice coming from behind, both Harry and Louis looked back, and it was Bella

“honey.. what are you doing here? It’s freezing, you are upsetting your asthma."

Louis shocked for a second, that was right, how could he forgot about Harry’s asthma

Harry smiled, he stood up “ I am coming, just catching up with this man.. obviously he stopped enjoying the parties”

Louis was looking at Harry he smiled and shrugged again, he couldn’t talk. But he stood up, he must save himself the pain.

Harry walked and embraced Bella “ aren’t you coming"

Louis shook his head “ no.. I will just go home.. still tired , I couldn’t sleep well last night”

Harry just looked down while Bella moved and took the glass from him, he smiled thanking her and then she returned to Harry.

Louis “ okay.. see you around"

Harry looked at him again “ of course..”

Louis gave him his back and he was ready to leave when Harry Said “ hay Louis..” 

Louis looked back at him, Harry smiling “ happy birthday loubear”

And it felt like Harry wanted to stab him hard in the chest. Louis smiled and walked away. He couldn’t stand any other minute. Okay he had enough that day and all he wanted was sleep. Shut his mind down and sleep. Sleep and never wake up again maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you enjoying ? Love to know what do you think ❤


	6. Chapter 6

Louis was sleeping on his bed. Well he wasn’t, he was avoiding everyone, after what happened last night and Louis felt empty. His sisters made him a small party with a small cake. He tried his best to sound normal, he failed, he knew. 

After the small party ended, he jumped on his bed and didn’t leave it till this minute .

He lied on the bed looking at the ceiling when he realized he can't sleep anymore. His mind ran back to last night and how horrible he felt, he missed Harry so much and now Harry is getting married. Fuck Harry is getting married !!.

The door was opened, he didn’t look he knew it must was one of his sisters.

“you are still on the bed." 

Louis looked at the door, it wasn’t one of his sisters, it was Zayn

Zayn was standing at the door frame crossing his arm.

Louis sighed, okay Zayn needed to talk. He sat on his bed saying “good morning Zayn.”

Zayn walked inside the room and sat on the small desk chair where Louis used to study when he was a kid.

“good afternoon you mean"

Louis nodded, Zayn “you left without a goodbye last night"

Louis shrugged “ wasn’t feeling okay, had a headache. So I had to leave”

Zayn nodded not believing any word “ okay... And now you are okay?”

Louis didn’t know how to answer that, he just looked at Zayn, Zayn said “ because we are going out... Just us, the three of us"

Louis stopped breathing, the three of them, who did Zayn mean,

“ you and I , and Harry”

Louis looked down, he needed an excuse and also he needed to stay calm.

“ I can’t today."

Zayn shocked “ you can’t today?”

Louis looked at him “ yeah. I have to stay with the girls... I know they will be sad if I left them tonight too."

“ no, they won’t” it was another voice coming from the door ,

Louis looked at the door and here he was standing, Harry looking back at him eating a cookie in his hand. Suddenly Louis felt like he was going back in tears again, as if they were sixteen again.

Harry said, “come on Lou, I was just talking to your sisters... They want you to go out, they are worried about you."

Louis raised a brow, Harry continued “they believe you haven't been okay ever since your mom."

Louis left his bed heading towards his closet “ they know nothing..”

Harry, I think they do, you don’t look okay"

Harry looked at Harry “ and you know that?”he snapped at Harry. 

Harry didn’t expect that. Louis was now angry and he didn’t know why or how to stop himself “ you know nothing Harry... you weren’t there to know."

Harry looked down, “ Louis...”it was Zayn who started.

But Louis looked at him furious “ and so do you... And I know it wasn’t your fault it was mine, so you don’t have to make things right, it’s okay... life happens.”

Zayn became angry too, just like the old days. It always started with Louis getting angry followed by Zayn, and it was always Harry who put an end.

“you chose this life to live?” Zayn almost yelled.

Louis looked at him “ well, I choose what I want.”

Zayn shook his head “ no you don’t, we are your Friends, we have every right to interfere, we have every right to put reason into your mind, what is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing us away?”

Zayn shook his head “ no you don’t, we are your Friends, we have every right to interfere, we have every right to put reason into your mind, what is wrong with you? Louis looked down again.

Zayn “ you are my best friend Louis, and it was hell to me to live these days without you... I called you man, I begged you to call me back to answer my phone calls”he shook his head in frustration“ out of five calls you answered one louis... why"

Louis was still looking down, not answering.Louis was still looking down, not answering. He couldn’t tell him the reason because the reason was standing there in front of them.

“ok guys” Harry finally talk.“ we ‘re older now , what's done is done.. we need to start a new leaf... can we do this?"

Zayn looked away wiping his threatening tears, while Louis was still looking down.

“ we are adults now, every single one of us had done a mistake.. But it’s okay, if life happens, then life is giving us a second chance.”

Then he looked at Louis, “ I forgot what happened Louis. I mean I was stupid and kid, I was very angry that you didn’t choose to believe me, and I know you were angry."

Louis looked at him, was Harry apologizing that night? Now?

“ I mean.. I know what you saw looked bad, but it was nothing like that,"

Louis whispered, “shut up Harry..“

Harry stopped shocked, Louis continued “ don’t apologize, it was my mistake. And it happened long time ago so stop”

Harry nodded he sighed “so we are all good now."

Louis nodded but then he looked at Zayn , Zayn was looking down, still fighting his tears, Harry looked at Zayn too “ Zayn?”

Zayn looked between them two “of course we are okay, idiots” then Louis smiled “now get out I need to change my clothes"

*****

 

The three men went to have their dinner. They talked about their jobs, Louis talked about his successful career, both Zayn and Harry Said they were following his success, he was a famous lawyer after all. Zayn also talked about his career, he was working in his father’s firm, Harry reminded him how.He was against the idea at the start, Zayn laughed remembering how many times he told them he would never ever work with his father. But here he was working happily with his father. Got engaged to the woman he always loved and they were getting married in two months.

Harry also talked about how he struggled in his study. How he tried his best until he became the one he was today. When he started to talk about his colleague, the one that became the best friend and then his love. Louis was listening struggling to control his emotions. Harry looked in love , Harry actually was in love and it hurt.

It was at the end of the day when Harry Said out of nowhere, Louis was eating dessert and Zayn was lighting his first cigarette “ guys... , I need you to be my best men"

Both Zayn and Louis looked at him, Zayn smiling wide while Louis was just staring.

Zayn,“ I was wondering when are you gonna ask" 

Harry smiled looking between them “ I was planning to tell you , but the wedding wasn’t supposed to be in four days.. It was supposed to be 1st of July, but Bella's parents are leaving to France next month and they don’t know if they can make it in time so..”

Zayn “ yeah... Of course man.”

Louis then said, “ are you making the wedding here?”

Harry nodded “ yeah... mom's dream. She always wanted me to marry at the same church she and Robin did."

Zayn smiled “ that will be wonderful.”Harry nodded, but he was still looking at Louis.

“so Louis what do you think?”

Louis finally nodded trying his best to smile “ yeah, yeah of course Harry. I would be honoured.”

Harry took a deep breath “ fine.. I need your help. I didn’t buy the suit... She didn’t buy the dress. I didn’t check the church for the reservation, and I still didn’t invite the people .. my co-workers, I think it’s already too late... Maybe I will just invite my best friends it will be a small party.. shit I should book her family the rooms in the hotel they are staying in.. And oh I didn’t decide where the honeymoon..” Harry Said it all at one breath , he was panicking as if he just realized he was getting married in a couple of days.

Zayn put his hand on his “ hay. relax, we will handle everything. just relax."

Harry looked at both of them, then he rubbed his face “ you are right. yes, we can do it"

Zayn nodding “yes we can, first thing tomorrow, I will drive you and Bella to the church, I am sure Gemma will help with the dress and I can ask one of my sisters to help her too, Maybe Lou can help in that"

Zayn looked at Louis, who only nodded.

Zayn continued “ you can invite your friend through the Facebook, I will book Bella's family in the hotel just tell me how many rooms you want, and about the honeymoon.”

Louis said, “leave it on me."

Harry looked between Zayn and Louis and then he smiled “ oh God thank you guys... I know I can rely on you."

Zayn “ you will get marry once Harry, anything for you really”

Louis nodded looking at Harry “ yes. anything for you Harry”

Zayn drove them next to their homes, the houses were side by side so the two of them went out the car, he left promising Harry he will be here early morning, Harry and Louis was walking to their home, but Harry Said suddenly “ lou... can I ask you something?”

Louis looked at him confused, but Harry refused to meet his eyes and Louis was getting scared “sure"

Harry took a deep breath “ did you believe me? That night?”

Louis sighed, he didn’t talk, Harry continued “ I mean I never lied to you but you just...I know I said I forgot what happened but i just Can't believe you put me out of your life easily.”

 

Louis “ excuse me; I tried to call you for months Harry.”

Harry shrugged then he stopped walking “ well I needed you to come to see me Louis... I was having an attack, and you pushed me.. technically you hit me, So I wasn’t taking a phone call as an apology”

Louis was watching Harry, “ I wanted to come."

“then what stopped you"

“you..”

Harry looked confused, Louis continued “ I knew I hurt you badly this time. we never were like this before but.. I was scared.. I don’t know I thought that would be the right thing."

Harry looked at him then he shook his head in disbelief “ I never expected that... How could you abandon me that easy?” 

Louis of course was getting angry “ not like you tried to do anything...”

Harry almost yelled, “because I always did... I always fixed things between us... I always came for you, and this time, this specific time I wanted you to come Louis, I waited,"

Louis yelled,“ you ran...”

Harry yelled too, “you hit me. you chose her over me. How could you let her come between us?"

Louis "you didn’t answer my phone calls..”

Harry still angry “ because it was your fault... I wanted more than a phone call,"

Louis yelled, “it wasn’t.”

“it was.” then he coughed and put his hand on his chest. He closed his eyes and he looked in pain. Louis was watching him worried and he wasn’t understanding. Why was Harry like this? It wasn’t his asthma it was something else, he noticed Harry’s lips turned a little blue, and Harry wanted to lean on something. He was about to fall. Louis helped him by holding his forearm and Harry sat on the pavement in front their two houses.

Harry then put his hand on his pocket and put a drug bottle and took a pill, and put it in his mouth, and he tried to take a deep breath

“what is happening?” Louis asked. 

Harry opened his eyes, he looked a little better, but eyes were in tears and he was sweaty. 

“it’s okay.”

Louis still worried “ it’s not... what is this drug.. why are you taking drugs?”

Harry sighed, “ I made an accident last year."

Louis pressed his mouth shut, Harry continued “I lost a lot of blood and it affected me badly,"

Louis almost whispered, still looking at him “ how badly?”Harry shook his head looking in front “ it’s okay Lou... I am fine.”

Louis nodded and he stopped talking, he didn't want to push Harry, he was afraid of what he might hear. He just looked in front and waited with Harry.

“I am sorry" Harry Said.

Louis looked at him,Harry “ I didn’t mean to bring that up... I don’t know why I was bringing that up actually. I feel stupid it happened long time ago."

Louis nodded “ it is okay"

Harry looked at him, he didn’t talk, he just nodded . Louis knew Harry was expecting an apology, a single sorry, but not Louis, he wasn't a person who apologize, he never said sorry to anyone even if he was wrong. That was Louis and that how he wanted people to see him.

Harry then stood up slowly “ I think I should go home. Bella is waiting...”

Louis nodded looking at him “ yeah. sure, are you sure you are okay?”

Harry nodded “ good night Lou...”

Louis nodded “good night Harry.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, sorry ❤  
> But I hope you enjoy

Next morning, Louis woke up really early. It just happened he woke up 7 am And he couldn’t fall asleep again. So two hours later he decided to leave the bed, eat something and try to busy his mind. He chuckled while he was washing his teeth, he thought he will Come back home to calm his mind. But here he was living his worst dreams and he was actually stuck.

He was in the kitchen drinking his coffee and on his laptop, trying to book Harry the honeymoon. He wanted to kill himself, how his mouth slipped and told Harry he would do it!Was he stupid, was he hypnotized?

He heard voices and laughs coming from outside the house, he headed to the window and he opened it, he saw Zayn's car standing outside, and then he saw Bella and Harry moving towards the car laughing so hard.

“good morning Louis,” said Zayn, damn you Zayn.

Harry and Bella looked at where Louis was standing behind the window, he smiled and raised his cup of coffee for greeting. But he could see Harry’s eyes. They were puffed and he looked very exhausted. He wanted to ask if he was okay, but it looked like Harry was avoiding him. He entered the car and looked in front while Zayn and Bella did the same, Louis was still watching him until the car moved away. He knew Harry was upset from last night. He was upset. He didn’t know what to do, so he just got inside again and decided to finish his work. Avoid everyone as possible as he can, until the wedding is done. And he was leave back to his normal life where there was no Harry, no family, no drama, and of course no heart break.

It was in the middle of the day. Louis was still on his laptop. He was making the final two choices so he can show Harry this evening. His phone rang, and it was his younger sister Fizzy.

“yes fizz?”

“ Louis, we need your help" it came almost immediately.

Louis started to feel worried “ what’s wrong.”

Fizzy “ don’t worry, we just need a ride, Gigi had to leave us she had an urgent family issue, something with her mom, and we were all coming be her car. Gamma can't ask Harry he is busy with Zayn. So you are our only option."

Louis sighed looked down, he hated this,“ I will call Lottie,”

Fizzy sighed.“ I’ve already done that , she is stuck in her work. you know she doesn’t have any days off even If it was Christmas, come on Lou, don’t be lazy, we almost finished so it takes you what? An hour? “

He sighed again in frustration “ okay... “

He hung up, and a shit, he then called someone on his phone 

“ lottie, where the hell are you?”

Lottie giggled “ I am so sorry Lou. I know Fizzy called... But I really can’t”

Louis angrily “ cut the carp Lottie I know you didn’t want to go from the start. it’s okay I won’t be mad if you go and pick his bride wedding dress.”

Lottie “ okay, you are maybe right, but I really got stuck and I can’t leave now. I am so sorry Lou. I hate to do this to you"

“fuck..”

“sorry"

Louis nodded “ okay... bye"

He hung up and threw his phone gain on the table, he was frustrated, his phone rang again and he yelled.

He picked it up and it was unknown number, maybe his work. Oh that what he needed!

“Louis Tomlinson...”

“yes Lou...”

“Zayn? Where are you calling from" Louis said confused 

“Harry's phone. tell me ,did the girls call you"

Oh not you too.

“ yes , yes, I am on my way" he tried to sound calm.

Zayn “ good, good.. And have you finished your mission?”he meant the honeymoon.

Louis looked in front of him at the laptop screen “ I did , boss"

Zayn laughed “ good job.. okay, I was just checking on you.. don’t he late for the girls “

Louis hung up very angry, he yelled at himself walking to his room “ don’t be late for the girls. blablabla, what I am doing here? Why am I her? What the fuck.”

“are you okay?” one of the twins asked looking at him worried.

He looked at her and then he got inside his room and slammed the door behind him.

 

At the mall, Louis was looking for his sister. Fizzy, Gemma and Bella were supposed to be finished when Louis was there, but of course they weren’t. He had to get inside the mall for a walk instead of waiting in the car.

While he was walking watching casual shoes, his addiction.

Then he heard his name was called. He looked around him to find out who was calling him, then he saw Fizzy and Bella coming towards him.

Fizzy,“ I thought you would be waiting in the car."

Louis tried to smile “ got bored.”then he looked at Bella “ hello Bella... have you found it?” he meant the dress.

She nodded excited “yeah I did."

Fizzy also excited “ it’s amazing Lou, it will be prepared by tomorrow.. And she will be the best bride ever I can’t believe Hazza is getting married“

Louis nodded agreeing, he couldn’t believe this too, “ where is Gemma?”

Fizzy “ she had to leave. she said she still had plenty of things to do"

“okay.. So we are done?”Louis asked.

Bella “ actually... I was looking for your help."

Louis confused “anything for you,"

Bella smiled “it’s for Harry... I want to get him something, and I don’t know I want something to remind him he... He is very happy here and himself, so I was wondering what I can get him."

Shit, was this really happening?

Louis took a deep breath. He nodded but he remembered seeing something while he was walking, something blue, the colour Harry loved.

“ I think I know how to help."

After buying the blue scarf that they all were sure it will look marvellous on Harry, and while the girls were walking in front of Louis. Fizzy asked the worst question Louis could ever heard, 

“so tell me.. How did he propose?”

Louis felt he wanted to run, he didn’t want to hear that, he didn’t want to know how romantic Harry was, he knew how. He knew Harry very much.

“ he wrote me a song" was the answer.

And of course, that was the way Harry expressed himself. When they were young when he was a part of the band. He was always singing, when he was happy when he was sad, when he was angry, always singing.

Bella continued, “ we had a big fight that night. He met some old friend.. she used to know the girl he loved when he was young I guess” Louis froze “ .. He is very secretive about his old relation. Maybe You know her.”then she looked at Louis. He was still shocked “ I am not sure...”,

Bella “ her name is Sarah... The girl he met... And I think they were talking about someone they called Lou... I don’t know it refers to..”Louis stopped listening because he didn’t know what was going on, there was no such a girl called Lou, there was a man called Lou, Louis was Lou.

Then he heard Fizzy laughing “ maybe they meant you Louis” but Louis didn’t said a word

Then Bella laughed too “ yeah maybe... But I was sure from what I heard, he said to this Sarah that he always loved and will always love this Lou...”she then sighed, “ he didn’t know I was listening... So when I confront him, he didn’t want to tell me any details... except that they are no longer in contact together years ago... And he promised that they can't together anymore because she never loved him and it was one part love.” 

Fizzy “ then what happened.”

Bella “ I left the house.. We used to living together for two years. Next thing he was singing at my friend doorsteps... He gathered everyone we knew, and he proposed in front all of them, even my parents were there."

Fizzy smiled, “wow.. How romantic. I know how can he gets romantic our Hazza,”

Bella giggled.“ yes, he is very romantic one."

Louis didn’t say any other word till they arrived home, and thanks God the girls were rambling about things Louis didn’t pay attention to, mostly about what they will wear in the wedding and who will put the make up to Bella, of course Lottie. The only thing that was in his mind, was what happened with Harry and Sarah . He needed to ask Harry about it. He needed to know if that Lou was himself, he wanted to know if Harry loved and will always love him.

 

Louis was in his room, still trying to figure out what to do, his mind didn’t stop working and he was causing himself an anxiety attack, finally he decided to face Harry. And he did.

He stood in front of Harry's door step waiting for someone to open, finally Anne did. She looked at him confused “ lou. is everything okay?”

Louis was hesitated for a second, was it too late, Anne looked as if just woke up from her bed.

Anne asked again when she saw how he anxious and confused “ Louis?”

He faked a cough “ yeah... Yeah. I .. I needed to talk to Harry.”

She nodded still worried, Louis “ I am sorry... I wasn’t paying attention to the time... I am sure he must be asleep.. So sorry I should go...”

He was leaving when he heard Harry calling his name, when He turned back, he saw Harry standing at the door, worried, shocked.

“what happened? Something wrong with the girls...”

Louis tried to calm down, he shook his and he looked down, 

Harry, "are you okay?”

Louis looked between Harry and his mom, and he felt embarrassed. He shrugged “ just. I... I needed to talk to you".

Anne then excused herself and moved back inside while Harry looked at him trying to read him.

When Louis entered Harry’s room, he was hit with memories. He looked at Harry’s bed. The same bed he saw Harry crying on the last time they met here in Cheshire.

Harry sighed and then he asked “ what is wrong?”

Louis looked at him and Harry was still looking tired, eyes were still red as if he was crying. 

“where is Bella?”

Harry “ her family camel at night. I gave her the ride to them at the hotel she is spending the night with her mommy."

Louis nodded “she is a good lady."

Harry leaned on the wall “she is"

Louis looked down and then he sat on the bed, he looked around him then he saw the window, that widow they used to climb to the ceiling. Louis smiled at this memory “ can we go up?"

 

Harry looked at the window and smiled too “ I wish.. But my chest really hurts today... I think I am freaking out and this drives my asthma crazy."

Louis pressed his mouth shut, Harry looked back at Louis “ why are you here Louis?”

Louis chewed his lower lip, he was struggling whether to tell him or not, then “ have you seen Sarah?”

Harry was truly shocked, he didn’t expect this at all, Louis sighed,“ Bella said you met a friend called Sarah... was she Sarah?”

Harry closed his yes in disbelief “ oh God not again" then he opened his eyes and, looked at him " it was few months ago... We hardly recognize each other."

Louis nodded “ who were you talking about?”

Harry sighed looking down “ what are you talking about Lou...”

Louis,“ you mentioned something about someone called Lou... you said you will always love that Lou”

Harry nodded “ so?”

Louis “ am I that Lou?”

Harry looking at him not following “ what are you trying to say Louis?”

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know, you tell me." 

Harry chuckled sarcastically,“ tell you what. you are at my home after midnight a day before my wedding, rambling about a stupid conversation happened few months ago absolutely meant nothing.”

Louis as getting angry, again Harry was trying to hide something, and he was distracted he couldn’t think right, he couldn’t speak himself “ meant nothing? They why did you fight with Bella.. why did you have to propose to her?”

Harry said angrily, “ I didn’t have to propose.. I wanted to.”

Louis.” Oh, did you? Look at you."

Harry shocked “ what is wrong with me?” 

Louis stood up, he couldn’t speak, he didn’t know what to do, it was a mistake, he should leave now without it’s too late, he finally sighed “ I can’t do this...”

Harry confused “ do what?”

Louis stood up, he couldn’t speak, he didn’t know what to do, it was a mistake, he should leave now without it’s too late, he finally sighed “ I can’t do this... I can’t watch you getting married.”

Harry was shocked “ why?”

Louis didn’t talk, Harry took a few steps forward “ why Louis? Why can’t you watch me?

But Louis didn’t talk, Harry nodded “ exactly... say nothing."

He then rubbed his face with his hands “ I am getting married Louis in less than 48 hours... And you know what"

He looked at Louis “ I can’t see you too at my wedding... I don’t want you to come."

Louis was shocked “ what?”

Harry shrugged “ you heard me right...”he took a deep breath “ you were the last man on earth I wanted to see at this time... But here you are, and I tried for the last few days to pretend that everything is okay and back to normal again but it’s not, nothing will be okay between us...”

Louis whispered, “ why are you doing this?

Harry almost yelled, “because I had enough...” he then calmed down, he looked at louis “ you will never understand. Just go home Louis, I was okay without you, you can't ruin my life again.”

Louis opened his mouth to answer, but Harry Said again,“ go home".

And he gave Louis his back, Louis looked at the man who was once best friend, who he always had feeling for. And he realised he lost Harry. He walked outside the room, then Harry closed the door behind him. Louis looked at the closed door, and all he wanted to do was crying.He guided himself outside the house and once he was out, he let himself. He cried, and he couldn’t go home to his sisters. He looked at Harry’s room window, and the light was still on, then he saw Harry looking at him. Then he got inside and closed the curtains then closed the light.

Louis took a deep breath and walked passing his house, he just walked and walked. For how many hours he didn’t know, he just wanted to run away, run away from his feelings. For the cruel reality. But he just Can’t.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry was in his room.He had to visit the hospital last night after Louis' fight. He felt a horrible pain in his chest. He took his medicines, but it didn’t work and he was worried for the worst. Ever since he made the accident and he was not okay, he woke Gemma up, and she drove him to the hospital, he did the tests and they gave him medicines and when he felt better he left. He made Gemma promise him not to mention anything to Bella. She finally approved. He didn't want to ruin her happiness. Her wedding was the next day, that wouldn't be fair for Bella.

 

He couldn’t sleep, he was still thinking about what happened with Louis, he was very angry at him, how stubborn Louis was, how was it difficult to have the words from him.Truth wad Harry panicked, he knew that Louis now knew what happened with Sarah, when he told her he always loved Louis when she saw him few months ago, and she told him they broke up a week after Louis and Harry’s fight, she asked him the final Question if he was in love with Louis and he told the truth finally he did, he told her he was and still in love with him. Of course Bella heard and that was an awful day, he had to lie he had to let her think that it was a girl and they were no more together, he hated himself for this, and Louis was right he had to propose to her, he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn’t thinking about Louis anymore, that he can live without him.

The door was opened and Bella whispered “ surprise...”

He looked at her still looking exhausted, “ good morning.”

He tried to leave his bed, but he really couldn’t, he was still tired and he had no power.

She smiled and didn’t notice. She gave him a kiss and lied beside him “you still in bed,"

He smiled and looked at her “ I am. Still sleepy ”then he put his head on her shoulder, she smiled“ I have something for you"

He looked at her. She put her hand on her bag and put out a box, she gave it to Harry.

“I want to get you something to remind you of home."

Harry opened the box. He looked at the scarf and then he froze, Bella watching him “ don’t you like.it?”

He smiled, “I love it... I love this colour..”

Bella nodded and then she held the scarf and put it around his neck “ I knew.. Louis helped."

Harry stopped breathing for a second he looked at the scarf and he tried to stay calm and not to get caught.

Bella looked at his eyes “ are you okay baby. you don’t look okay, is there anything wrong?”

He looked at her tried to smile “ I am fine."

Bella stared at him “ Harry. are you crying?” 

Was he?

He hastily wiped his tears that betrayed him, and he stood up leaving the bed, he knew Bella was still watching and he had to say something.

“ I am okay.” He started, “ it just.. lots of memories that’s all"

Bella “ what is going on Harry?”

Harry sighed, okay, she was perfect, she loved him so much that she understood every gesture he did.

He looked at her “ it’s nothing important.”

Bella was still watching him “stop hiding it"

“hide what?”

She shrugged “ I don’t know... But...I don’t know what happened that changed you like this. I mean first few days were perfect and then .. I don't know, Harry please tell me what is going on cause I am freaking out."

That was the last thing he wanted to hear.

He sat beside her “ don’t, because you are the strong one on this relation,” he smiled, she smiled too,“ then, tell me"

Harry “ I don’t know what do you exactly want"

Bella stopped talking for a few seconds, then she looked at him “look at me in the eye and tell me everything between us is okay"

Harry was shocked, was he that obvious?

He swallowed his fears, and he nodded “ of course it is"

She shook her head. He looked at her in her eyes “ everything is fine... stop worrying you are scaring me"

Her eyes were full of tears, and tears fell on her cheeks, he wiped them “stop it” then he hugged her tightly “ we are fine. Everything is okay." 

And he hated himself for this, because they weren’t fine, and everything wasn’t okay.

 

When Louis returned home, it was morning. He lost time walking in streets having nowhere to go. He was just thinking of all what happened between him and Harry all over the years, and he felt stupid for missing everything. He felt stupid for ignoring the rumours that were said about Harry about eing gay during high school, he remembered that he avoided Harry through this time until Harry proved them wrong. He always felt that Harry had feelings for him more than friendship. But he ignored the signs, he always took Harry for granted, Harry would always be there for him, standing with him during his darkest time, stand his bad temper, standing by his side facing whatever. But when he started to grow feelings for Harry, it was when he panicked. He still remembers how he felt jealous when he knew Harry had a girlfriend during college, although Harry never mentioned this but Louis treated him awfully for this reason, and of course he couldn’t forget about what happened between Harry and Sarah, and why he took Sarah’s side, because he wanted to believe that he had no feelings for Harry, that he can love someone else, that he can choose someone else. That was stupid and he knew it now.

He was mess. He was losing his sanity and he was driving himself crazy. All he wanted now was Harry, and he knew it was the only time that he can’t have him. Harry was getting married next morning, next morning! Louis had to do something. He had to fix this, because he didn’t believe he could survive without Harry, it was now or never. He wished it was never. He only wished.

 

He didn’t expect to find anyone awake, so he entered directly to the kitchen and there he found Lottie sitting on the kitchen table, when she saw him she sighed deeply “thanks God you are okay."

He looked at her confused, then he smiled, She reminded him of their mother.

Lottie “ I saw you last night... when you left Harry's house. And Gemma called."

Louis didn’t talk, he just moved to the fridge and took a water bottle.

Lottie “ what happened?”

Louis sighed and then he sat beside her, then He shrugged “ I don’t know. But it didn’t go well."

Lottie nodded “ he was in the hospital..”

Louis looked at her shocked, Lottie “ an asthma attack .. And I don’t know I believe there has been something since his accident”

Louis “ what?”

Lottie shook her head “ I don’t know.. But he is okay, he is home."

Louis bit his lower lip fighting mixed feeling growing inside his chest, Lottie “ they are making a dinner tonight... you know before his wedding. We are all invited"

Louis looked down “I am not.”

Lottie was still looking at him “ I figured...”then she sighed “ why are doing this to yourselves... why do you keep torturing each other?

Louis raised his brows “what are you talking about?"

Lottie “oh come on Lou, it’s obvious, I know you love him, I know he loves you"

Louis shook his head “ this is not true.”

Lottie chucked sarcastically “ isn't it?”

Louis nodded “ yes... because I am not gay... He is not gay he is getting married tomorrow...”

Lottie almost yelled, “because he thinks you don’t love him."

Louis was leaving his seat “ I can’t.”

Lottie “ you can’t what?”

Louis yelled because he had enough “ I can’t ruin his life now... I don’t know what to do Lottie I feel weak and I am so tired and my chest hurts and its not fair.”

Lottie “ letting him marry isn’t fair"

Louis looked at her, Lottie,“ I remember Lou, I remember how he used to look at you when you were kids. it’s true pure love, I am sure he still loves you,"

Louis sighed, “it’s not that easy”

Lottie “ it’s not also complicated..”

Louis shook his head. He took a deep breath and he shook his head again leaving the kitchen.

Louis slept, he didn’t know for how long but he knew when he woke up it was dark. And once he opened his eyes he felt he couldn’t breath, something was pressing hard on his chest. He took a deep breath, and he left his bed. The house was empty, they went to Harry’s party.

Louis couldn’t take it anymore. He decided to go out, he took his keys and his jacket, and he moved to his car. But he froze, cause right there was sitting Harry on the side walk ,

“Harry?” Louis found himself calling.

Harry snapped his head up looking shockingly at Louis,

“are you okay?”

Harry closed his eyes and looked down again. Louis was getting worried, Harry was in hospital this morning,

“you were in hospital?”

Harry was still looking down, didn’t say a word,

Louis “ tell me you are fine and I will go"

“ I am fine” Harry said 

But Louis didn’t leave , he chewed his lower lip and his mind was telling him that was your chance Louis, say it, just say it.

“ I have to tell you something...” Louis started, he was trembling and even his voice was shaking.

Harry slowly looked at him, Louis found it an invitation to go on “ you are my best friend Harry“

Harry nodded “ yeah...”

Louis nodded “ yeah... you were always there for me... everything I did when I was young I did it with you"

Harry nodded still didn’t understand what was going on.

Louis took a few steps in front “ you always cared for me... And I was blind,"

Harry frowned, “what!!”

Louis nodded “ I was blind and I was stupid... But I was scared.”

Harry slowly stood up , looking shockingly at Louis.

Louis continued, “ I know you liked me back there... I know these rumours weren’t actually rumours...”

Harry whispered, “stop"

Louis “ and I got scared...”

“stop"

“because I have the same feelings”

“stop Lou.” Harry started to cry.

“ I love you... I loved you and I love you and I will always will... no matter where you are..whether we are talking or not. I love you and I know it now."

Harry was still looking at him “ now? You know you love me now? "

Louis stopped talking.

Harry shook his head in disbelief “ I loved you since I was eight Louis and you just figured this out now? my wedding is tomorrow... what were you thinking?

Louis.”Don’t do this... don’t get married”

Harry was still crying “oh really?”

Louis “ you don’t love her “

Harry almost yelled, “how do you know that? You know nothing about me "

Louis “ I know.. I know you.. you don’t, you were trying to escape your true feelings.. you wanted to push yourself in this relation. But you can’t be with her” 

Harry was looking shocked at Louis “ and I can be with you.. ? you think that once you tell me .. I will just run for you and ruin all these past years?"

Louis “ Harry...”

Harry yelled, “ no, you shut up.. you are ruining my life again. God... why are you Doing this to me now? fuck you" he was leaving.

Louis “just, listen to me" Louis stopped in front of him,

Harry stopped and looked at him “ what do you want from me Louis... you love me? so what? I loved you for years.. But you knew what you did? You took me for granted.. you never cared about my feeling.. oh God you were asking me to help you with girls Louis.. when you thought I was gay, when those rumours came out you avoided me for weeks..”he stopped talking, and the he Chuckled “ and you know what the worst part is ? . that you knew. from the start, you knew I had feelings for you, but you chose to Ignore me"

 

Louis was crying now looking at Harry. He wanted to hug him, to calm him down, but he knew he screwed up this time .

Harry wiped his tears “ you are right... maybe I don’t love her the way I loved you. But at least she was there for Me"

Louis “ Harry please.”

Harry “ I made an accident Louis.. And when I woke up, she was there not you"

Louis “ you made my sister promise you not to tell me"

Harry “ because you wouldn't care... because you never cared and you would break my heart again.. And guess what my heart is now weak so it wouldn’t make it..”

He closed his eyes again, he put one hand on his chest ,“ I think you should go."

But when he opened his eyes, he saw Louis was starying at something behind Harry, Harry’s heart stopped beating for a second, he knew it was bad.

Slowly he turned, and he saw Bella and her mother, his mother and Gemma , Lottie and Gigi, all were standing there behind them.

When he looked at Bella, she was crying, then she ran away. Harry yelled, “Bella wait..” he ran after her.

But she didn’t wait.

Harry stopped and looked back at Louis , but he ran again after Bella.

Louis looked at the people standing there looking at him, and he realized it was his goodbye ticket from Cheshire, he can’t face this people again, not after what he did. He ruined the marriage. He ruined Harry’s life again.

*****

Next morning, when he opened his eyes , he saw Lottie was looking at him. He didn’t realize of she was the one who woke him up or did he woke up by himself, it didn’t matter.

“ someone is here to see you," she said then she left the room,

She was mad, everyone was mad at him.

He went down stairs, and he saw Anna there sitting on the couch waiting for him, when he saw her he froze. She must noticed because she looked at him and then she left the couch and she walked to him, she hugged him.

She did.

Louis looked at her confused “ what happened.” 

Anne shrugged “ I wanted to do it late-night but I know it would look awful.”

Louis still confused “ what?”

Anne sighed, “ I know.my son Louis. And I know he was gay since he was ten. I know he loves you through all his life. But I was scared that you wouldn't share him his feelings.. I mean...I know it took you a lot to figure it out, but later better than never"

Louis “what are you talking about,"

She smiled and held his hand and together they sat on the couch again, she was still holding his hand , she looked at him “ I saw Harry crying for days .. because of this, his feelings , he was scared that you would leave him if you knew the truth.. so He had to make the choice. He decided to stop friending you."

 

Louis was shocked, she nodded “ at least he tried. when you were in college, he chose his college as far as he can from you and I am sure he was avoiding you .. then That fight happened and it broke him Louis, although I don’t know what exactly happened but he was hurt and he waited for you. “ she sighed, “Bella is amazing.. She is the best. But I know she won’t make my son happy."

Louis “ what do you mean? And what are you doing here? why aren’t you at the wedding?”

She stopped talking. Louis shocked “ don’t.. please don’t”

Anne nodded “ they cancelled it. together, so it wasn’t your fault...”

“ it was“

Anne nodded “ okay it was.. But not completely. If he married her then, it would be the biggest mistake he will ever make to himself and to her"

Louis eyes’s turned glassy now “God he will hate me for this" he covered his eyes. 

She put her hand on her thigh “he will never do."

Then she gave him a small white box, Louis looked at it and then.He took it and opened it. It was the blue scarf.

Anne said, “ he gave it to me this morning before leaving... He said it belonged to you"

Louis closed his eyes, Anne “ do you really love him, Louis?”

He looked at her,“ I think I do...”

Anne “ YOU must be sure to win him back.”

Then she stood up “give it time, time will heal the wounds”.

Louis nodded, and he looked back at Harry’s scarf, repeating in his mind Anne's last words.

Time will heal the wounds.  
He watched anne leaving the house, he followed her two hours later leaving Cheshire for good. He didn't know when he will be back again. He didn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it, thanks for readings and comments and kudos ❤  
> All the love


	9. Chapter 9

2016

 

Harry was in the hospital doing his regular rounds when he got a call, the call.

“she is having the baby now." 

That what Zayn said before Harry rushing outside the hospital and waiting for them at the hospital entrance, with the wheelchair and the obstetrician.

Once Zayn stopped the car at the entrance, Harry ran with the other doctor and opened the door where Gigi was sitting, she looked at Harry and said trying to hide her pain and calm herself down “ I am okay.”

He smiled, and he held her bride styles and put her in the wheelchair, it was when she started to scream again, Zayn was standing right beside her he held her hand and was two minutes from bursting into tears himself , Harry never expected that part from Zayn, but that what happened and Harry was happy watching his best friends' most important moment in their life. Harry started to run, but it was when he saw him. He saw Louis getting again inside Zayn's car and drove away.

Gigi gave a birth to a beautiful healthy girl. Harry and Zayn were there all the time with her, helping and reassuring her. When Gigi finished and she was moved to her room, Harry had to go and change his clothes. Zayn threw up on him at the middle, Harry understood how Zayn was nervous and emotional. He calmed his friend down and tried his best to regain everyone temper. Including himself.

 

When he entered the room again where Gigi and the baby were, Louis was standing there at the baby crib with Zayn looking at the baby, Harry took a deep breath and tried to act as strong and normal as he can . Gigi was the first who noticed him. 

“Harry..”

Harry smiled at her while Zayn and Louis looked at him, he was trying to avoid Louis as much as he can. He looked at the two men and smiled , then looked again at Gigi. It has been two years ever since the last time Louis and Harry met, just before Louis ruining his marriage. They hadn’t again met and Harry wished they would never meet again.

He walked towards Gigi and gave her a hug, then he looked at Zayn “ congratulations guys... She is an angel."

Then he looked at Louis “ hi Louis.” he said flatly with a week smile

Louis only nodded, Harry looked again at Gigi “you were a champion tonight,"

She smiled at him , still looking exhausted. She rested her head on her pillow “ thank you Harry.”

Harry smiled, “I am glad I helped... I mean you are my best friends."

Then he looked at Zayn again “ I will be outside if you need anything...”he avoided meeting Louis' eyes while standing and looking between Gigi and Zayn, and then he looked at Gigi “ get some sleep before she wakes up."

Gigi nodded smiled again, and then Harry left.

The truth was, he couldn’t stand any other minute while Louis was there, it was very hard for him. After what happened two years ago, he promised himself he wouldn’t see this man again, ever.

He didn’t attend Zayn's wedding for that reason, he didn’t go the any occasion related with the Tomlinson family for that reason, and he didn’t know he will be here, but again even if he knew he would also be there, but at least he would have the time to prepare himself.

“Harry..” Zayn called Harry while Harry was walking at the corridor heading to the stuff room.

Harry turned to look at Zayn, Zayn smiled “I am sorry,”

Harry turned to look at Zayn, Zayn smiled “I am sorry,”Harry frowned, 

Zayn getting closer “ he was having dinner with us. Gigi wasn’t supposed to get into Labour now...”

Harry “ stop, stop. Don’t apologize I understand. It’s okay , we are two adults men we can handle a small meeting ”

Zayn nodded “ so, you are okay?”

Harry smiled and “ honestly.. I don’t know, but I will be okay it has been almost two years so I think I should be okay"

Zayn “ I think you miss him Harry..”

Harry took a deep breath “ I don’t want to.”

Zayn “ why?”asking for the hundredth time.

Harry shook his head “we are not talking about this now."

Zayn “ then when? You never talk about this, now is the good time, he is here you are here.. you should talk"

Harry snapped, “and say what?“ he calmed a little “ please Zayn , I promised myself I will never think about this again.. I can’t think about it again."

Zany “ Harry you have never stopped thinking about this.. why are you doing this , why are you running away?"

Harry was still looking at Zayn,“ I am not running..”

Harry was still looking at Zayn,“

 

“then what do you call this?”

" I protect myself?"

" from whom?"

 

“from him.. “ he then shook his head in disbelief “ you don’t understand Zayn, you will never . because you were never at my place where you love like you don’t have anything else to give and yet Louis didn’t feel it, I was there Zayn, I was always there.. And when I realized there is nothing else to do.. when I realized I had enough and I can’t take it anymore, when I found someone who loved me, it was when He finally thought that he felt something for me."

Zayn “ thought?”.

Harry nodded “ yes Zayn, he thought.. because if he does then he will look for me, he Will try to find me"

Zayn “ you ran away from him.. He tried to reach you for three months..”

“by phone? Oh come on. I wasn’t disappearing.. everyone knows where I was ..why didn’t he come?”

It was when Zayn looked down. Harry took a deep breath “ exactly. go Zayn , you just had a baby stop thinking about us.. It Will be okay like it always was"

Then he left walking back to the stuff room.

Zayn watched Harry walking away, and finally he turned back and walked to.Gigi's room, but he saw Louis was standing there. He was looking down, and Zayn knew he heard everything.

Zayn walked towards his friend and he embraced him and together they headed back to the room.

 

Next morning, Zayn and Gigi left the hospital. Harry was there and made sure everything was okay, the baby and Gigi were okay. He didn’t talk much. He was there but his mind was some where else. He was waiting for something, but it didn’t happen. He was waiting for Louis. He wanted to see him for the last time , but Louis didn’t show up. He realized this when he put Gigi in the car and saw Zayn was the one who was going to drive. Zayn noticed Harry caught him more than once watching him, Zayn didn’t talk and Harry was really grateful for this. 

 

At night Harry went home , he was exhausted and he wanted his mind to have mercy on him. He took two of his sleeping pills and he surrender to sleep.

But it was midnight when Harry heard his doorbell was ringing. He opened his eyes and he was sure he was dreaming. But it again rang he wasn’t dreaming.

He looked beside him a the night stand it was two in the morning. He finally stood up, and he moved to the door. He was sure it must be Liam, his friend from the hospital, he was worried about Harry this morning and Harry was sure liam will need to have a talk, but now?

He opened the door and he froze, it wasn’t Liam, it was Louis.

Harry didn’t move he just stood there watching Louis who was looking back and anxiety was all over his face.

“ can I come in?” Louis asked.

Harry gave him a room and Louis entered, Harry closed the door and won himself a moment to regain himself back.

He turned to face Louis. And Louis was still looking at him

“ I can’t do this anymore” Louis started.

Harry frowned, Louis “ I was stupid... I am stupid and I am so sorry..,”

Harry closed his eyes. He didn’t want to do it, he wasn’t ready.

Louis continued “ I know it won’t be enough and I know I hurt you Harry more than once along the years but .. I can’t.. I can’t do it anymore”

“do what?”

“ stay away from you"

Harry chuckled “ is this a joke? Are you trying to have a laugh?”

Louis was shocked, Harry “because you could do this Louis for the past years, God you could do this in the last two years after realizing you had feelings for me"

“ Harry .. please.. I need you to listen..”

“ okay...”

Louis didn’t understand, Harry Said again “ okay .. I will listen , tell me what you have to say Louis so we can end this"

Louis moved closer “ I don’t want to end this"

Harry stared at him, he wasn’t believing any word from Louis,

“ say what you have Louis”

Louis took a deep breath. Harry could notice he shaking he was, how nervous he looked.

“ you were right..” he started.

“ I always took you for granted. you were always there for me Harry and I never thought there would be time where we aren’t friends anymore..”

Harry whispered “ Louis, we haven't been friends since college”

Louis looked at him, Harry shrugged “ this is the truth. that day when you attacked me, when I ran away from you.. that was the day our friendship was ended."

“ no" Louis whispered looking at him,

Harry nodded “ yes.. it’s over Louis”

“ how it’s over before its even started"

“ because you don’t want this.. you think you do but no, you want this when you see me.. But as long as I am away.. you are doing fine, living your life forgetting about me. But it’s me who stays days and nights waiting.. I am always waiting for you Louis..”

Louis took few steps closer “ and I am here”

“too late,"

Louis sighed “ I told you I love you Harry and you left me"

Harry looked at him shocked “ you told me you love at my wedding day.. because you thought you were losing me, but the minute you knew I had cancelled my wedding.. you let me. How could you love my and yet destroy my life.. you hate to see my happy Louis”

Louis was in tears “ what are you talking about?"

Harry was in tears too “ the truth Louis.. you don’t love me.. And I get it"

“ no"

“ yes.. please, save us all the pain, i was getting okay , you were doing okay, let’s pretend that didn’t happen, we didn’t meet and everything will be okay”

Louis “ Harry , please..”

Harry shook his head “ you please, I don’t need this.. I don’t want to get hurt again and I don’t want to hurt you too..”

Louis shook his head letting tears fall freely. Harry moved closer from him , then he hugged him tightly “ good bye Lou”

Then he looked at Louis for the last time, at his eyes that he knew it hunted him for years and would hunt him for years more. But he was okay with this, he was ready to finally let go. He let go.


	10. Chapter 10

“ Eleanor is going to kill me for that"

“ she won’t.. stop it Niall" said Louis who was sitting on the hospital bed, his leg dangling from the bed not touching the floor, and one of his feet was without a shoe or a sock, swollen with a huge purple bruise on the ankle.

“ oh God.. I am so sorry Lou. I am stupid"

Niall who was Louis friend over two years now said, he was standing right next to Louis looking nervously at the Louis' foot. 

Louis giggled “ yes you are , but it’s not your fault”

Niall said nervously “ yes it was.. I ran into you I crashed your bones.. it's broken"

Louis looked at his leg again, it was hurting like hell “ it’s not..”

He tried to touch it but he hissed, Niall nodded “ yes definitely broken..”

Louis looked at his friend “ relax will you? , it’s not your fault, I mean I know how excited you get while playing football I shouldn’t hold the ball when I saw you coming.. that was my fault”

Niall was looking at him ,then he whispered “ it’s my fucking fault..” then he looked at the room door “ and where is that doctor they said he was coming.. Wayne was his name?”

Louis looked back at his foot “ Payne.. And relax , he will come"

Niall walked to the door “ no I am not gonna wait here..someone should come and take care of this foot..”

He said while opening the door heading outside while Louis was calling his name but in no vain .

He then heard Niall voice “ hay.. hay excuse me, are you a doctor here, you are wearing the scrub you must be a doctor..”

“ how can I help?” the doctor said 

Louis had to smile for that, Niall was very nervous and it always made him laugh at him

Naill again “ are you doctor Wayne..”

“ it’s Payne sir, and no I am not, I am..”

Niall interrupted “ I don’t care.. there is my friend with a broken foot and great amount of pain..”

The voice was getting closer then Niall entered the room followed by the doctor,

Niall was still talking “ we have been here since an hour and no one bothered himself to have a look at ..”

Louis said “ it’s not an hour Niall..”

Then he looked at the doctor who was now looking at the file in his hand, and he froze.

He was staring at him unable to talk, was this a joke? Really? Now?

The doctor looked at Louis and he gasped “ Louis?”

Then Niall looked between them “ wait a minute, am I missing something?”

Harry smiled and he moved closer the Louis, Louis was still not talking. 

“ what happened?” the doctor asked,.

Niall was looking worriedly at Louis “ lou? Are you okay?”

Louis finally nodded , then he looked at the doctor “ I can’t believe my eyes Harry”

Harry smiled again, and he looked at the damaged foot “ auch... that must hurt"

Louis looked at his foot again, forgetting about the pain, feeling nothing, he was just trying to calm himself, because right in front of him was Harry..

Niall said “ we were playing football, and he .. basically, I attacked him and I hit his foot.. it was supposed to be the ball"

Harry looked back at Louis “ still playing football?”

Louis nodded “ yeah.. sometimes with my friends”

Harry looked at him confused “ you mean you live here now?”

Louis nodded “ yeah.. work there was eating me alive and I needed some quite place so here I am"

Harry nodded looking at his friend, Louis “ and you? I thought you worked in London, last time I saw you"

Harry shook his head “ no now, work too was too exhausting, and according to my condition I couldn’t keep working there"

Niall said gain “ how exactly you know each other?”

Louis was watching Harry. What condition was he talking about,

“ we used to be neighbours" Harry Said,

Niall excited “ you too?”

But Louis said immediately “ yeah like Zayn” then he looked at Harry “ are you still in contact with him?”

Harry nodded “ of course.. And I know you are not"

Niall “ who is Z...”

Louis “ this is Niall, my partner.. He is working with me in the office"

Harry looked at Niall and offered him a hand, Niall looked confused at Louis, then he took Harry’s hand and said “ nice to meet you..”

Harry smiled “ yeah, nice to meet you"

Then he looked again at the broken foot “ so tell me.. what do we have here?”

Louis sighed looking at his foot “ I think it’s broken..”

Niall cursed “ oh God..”

 

Harry touched to foot and he was examining her while Louis was examining Harry , he cut his hair and it made h look younger, and those eyes he could never forget those eyes,

“ auch...” Louis hissed,

Harry was looking at the foot worried “ I think it might be broken Lou.. we have to make MRI, just to make sure..”

Louis nodded , then they heard

“ what we have here?”

The three men looked at the door and there was a doctor standing there.

“ I took care of it Liam”

Then Niall looked at him “ Dr Wayne..?”

Liam “ Payne..”

Niall “ what took you so long?”

Louis sighed shaking his head in disbelief. 

The foot was really broken, Harry took care of it, he did what it had to be done, and finally Louis was lying on his hospital bed, his leg was elevated a Little above him, a protective boot fitted in his leg.

Naill was watching the boot “ I am sorry..”

Louis “ Niall, if you didn’t stop apologizing right now then you should leave"

Niall sighed “ I am sorry but.. look at you, I just broke your foot Louis”

Louis nodded “ okay.. But I am okay.. nothing happened”

Bill sighed, he rubbed his face “ I should call El “

“ don’t”

Niall looked at him, Louis “ we don’t need to worry her, her plan just landed so please” 

Niall sighed “ are you sure?”

Louis nodded, Niall “ okay tell me what happened between you and the curly head doctor”

Louis looked at Niall confused, Niall “ I know there is something.. so tell me"

Then the door was opened, and Harry entered again “ you are free to go" he started.

Louis looked at him , then nodded “ that’s good..”

Niall looked at Louis “ okay.. I will bring the car at the entrance..” , he then looked at Harry again “ nice to meet you Harry.. we should meet again someday..”

Harry nodded “ yeah.. sure"

Then Niall left the room. Harry looked again at Louis “ does it still hurt?”

Louis shrugged “ a little..”

Harry nodded and moved to sit by Louis at the bed “ I am sorry..”

Louis smiled “ it’s not your fault.. I wasn’t looking and Ni...”

“ for what happened last time we met" Harry continued looking down.

Louis looked at him shocked, he didn’t expect that ever.

Harry sighed then he looked at Louis “ I am sorry.. I was just too angry at you , and I wanted to blame you badly..”

“ Harry..”

“ I don’t expect you to say anything, but I am sorry and I want a second chance"

Louis didn't believe what what was going on “ what is wrong with you? What is happening..” Louis asked.

Ha tried to smile “ it just.. life is short Louis and we spent it running away from each other"

Louis “ I don’t understand..”

Harry sighed “ I want us back.. I want you back in my life like friends like we always were”

Louis was still shocked “ what?”

Harry took a deep breath “ I never stopped thinking of you, I don’t know but I missed you"

“ but..”

Harry gasped, he rubbed his face with his hands “ oh shit... If you don’t want this.. I totally understand, I mean you must have your own life now ... I am sorry, it just . When I saw you I felt like I need you back in my life" he was freaking out,

“ stop talking..” Louis said putting his hand on Harry’s.

Harry looked at louis again, Louis smiled “ I never stopped thinking of you too, but last time we met you made it clear that you don’t need this..”

Harry whispered “ I was wrong..”

Louis was still looking at Harry, Harry was there right in front of him, apologizing asking for a second chance, that was what he dreamed of since the last year, but right now.. it just Can’t be happening.

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand “ does this mean we are finally okay? What did I do with you , you finally can forgive me?”

Harry looked at Louis' eyes “ it is..”

Louis “ are you sure?”

Harry shrugged “ I am.. But I don’t know about you"

No Louis you can’t,

Louis smiled “ yes.. of course, it’s all I wanted since.. forever”

Harry smiled “ wow.. That was ..”

Louis “ Harry.. do you really forgive me? I ruined your marriage”

Harry looked at him “ of course, and let’s not talk about what happened, we will have time to talk about everything later.”

 

Louis nodded,

Harry sighed “ so friends again?”

Louis nodded “ yeah.. sure"

Then Harry hugged h and Louis hugged back, but friends? They were never friends they were lovers, but let’s just start with being friends, Louis told himself, because right now they can only be friends, nothing else.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys  
> So sorry for the late update , hope you could forgive me  
> Enjoy ❤❤

Louis was on his bed, he was sleeping and he knew his Phone was ringing but he was dreaming and he lived this dream so much that he didn’t want to wake up, the ringing didn’t stop and he knew he had to answer it, he must answer it.

He reached his hand and he took the phone from beside him, he looked at the caller name and shit, he sat bolt up on the bed still looking at his phone, his heart was beating fast and he closed his eyes to control his shaking body, shit.

“ hello" he said nervously

“ baby what’s going on, I am trying to reach you since yesterday” a lady speaking 

Louis sighed trying to sound normal “ yeah sorry about that, I must had slept early last night, how are you I missed you so much" He tried 

She sighed “ baby, are you sure you are okay?”

His phone buzzed in his hand, and he knew he received a text, he put her on speaker and he said 

“ of course, Ell I am fine I promise"

He opened the text 

“ it’s Harry.. are you awake?” 

Louis smiled and he wrote while Eleanor said 

“ you don’t sound good Louis, are you hiding something? Are you sick?"

He wrote “ I am awake and okay, how are you?” he sent it

Then he said “ what? Yeah, yeah I am fine don't worry baby"

He received another text almost immediately 

“ can you open your front door"

And what!!!

Was he out there, his heart again went crazy, he gasped but he had to sound normal, Eleanor was still on line 

“ okay, I am fine and everything is okay here, mom says hi by the way" Eleanor said 

Louis was already leaving the bed “ yeah, yeah, that’s good.. listen El I have to go, I will call you later" he hanged up and he put his phone in his pocket. 

He left his bed and he leaned on the wall and he grabbed the crutches Niall got him last night, he walked as fast as he could (he wasn’t fast at all it took him five minutes) and he opened the door

And yes, Harry was there standing with a huge smile upon his face, holding boxes and bags

“ morning Lou” he said cheerfully 

Louis raised a brow, it always felt good to see Harry at early morning, so so.good, but what was he doing here, he knew they became friends again, more than friends he hoped but this was happening too fast

Harry said “ I got your address from the hospital, I had to pride the social worker, she was a lady and she already knew I was gay so I couldn’t use my charm" 

Louis laughed at that, Harry “ aren’t you letting me in?”

Louis gasped and he opened the door wide “ sure, get in" 

Harry walked inside “ where is the kitchen, I brought you breakfast”

Louis was watching Harry, and yeah definitely best morning ever. He brought breakfast 

Harry turned his back and looked at Louis who was staring at him “ so? Where is the kitchen”

Louis smiling shyly “ yeah.. come here" he walked and Harry followed him and together they entered the kitchen

Harry put the bags and boxes on the kitchen island, he looked at Louis 

“ do you need help?” 

Louis shook his head, and he tried to sit on the chair but he was this close from falling, he felt strong hands grabbing his forearm, he looked at Harry was looking at him smiling

“ I think you need help" he helped him sitting and then he returned to his place and he looked at Louis 

“ do you still like doughnuts?”

Louis smiled “ of course”

Harry “ good, good " he opened the boxes and there was doughnuts with all flavours, he then opened the bags and he put the juices out 

He looked at Louis “ how is the leg today?”

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know"

Harry laughed and he gave Louis the box and Louis picked his favourite, then Harry poured some juices on two cups, he gave Louis his and he took one too. He walked and sat beside Louis, Louis was still watching him, making a fool of himself but he really missed him and he really couldn't believe his eyes

“ what?” Harry asked.

Louis shook his head laughing “ nothing, I was just having a typical dream this morning”

Harry laughed “ dreaming of me? This fast?”

Louis looked at him “ I 've never stopped Harry”

Harry smiled nodded “ yeah me too" then he looked at Louis “ since I was eight”

Louis didn’t talk, he was watching Harry, he wanted to kiss him right now, and somehow it felt the right thing

“ I used to write letters to you, when I was a kid, I never give them to you" Louis raised his brows surprised, 

Harry laughed and continued “ yeah, mom found them when i was ten years old, it was when we sit and talk, you know the talk"

Louis looked down, Harry sighed “ Gemma knew when I was fourteen I guess.. She said nothing but she was always over protective, she wanted me to know what I really wanted”

Louis “ I knew"

Harry looked at him, Louis nodded his head “ about you bring gay , yeah, but I guess I was scared, I mean I had the same feelings too but I don’t know what to do"

Harry nodded “ yeah we were stupid, you were the most"

“ we were kids" 

Harry looked at his cup and then he took a sip “ what happened?” he looked at Louis “ between us I mean"

Louis looked at Harry’s eyes “ I let you down"

Harry was shocked, his eyes was full of tears now, then he put the cup down, he rushed to cup louis's face and then he kissed him, Louis kissed back.

They both were crying for the years that they together let them slipped between their fingers. They both were stubborn, they both were weak. They needed each other but they never said it, they let their ego ate them alive and eventually years passes year after year after year, and now they were together. But both of them knew it was too late.

Harry looked t Louis's eyes, then he smiled “ God I needed to do this long time ago"

Louis smiled, he wiped Harry's tears “ I am sorry, I am so sorry”

Harry shook his head “ there is no reason for this now”

Then he sat on the chair again “ Zayn is going to lose his mind when he knows"

Louis snapped his head up to Harry, Zayn knows about Eleanor, although they lost contact but he knew the girls were still talking.

“ yeah, I think" he said 

Harry spent the day with Louis, they talked and ate, they watched a movie and they kissed, they cuddled and eventually they fell asleep together.

When Louis opened his eyes the next morning, he saw Harry was still sleeping next to him, he smiled wide, then he heard his doorbell was ringing, he frowned then he realized that it was the reason he was awake anyway. He looked at Harry and Harry was still sleeping deep like a child.

Louis left his bed slowly and he took the crutches and he walked to the door, when he opened it, Niall was there looking at him angrily. 

“ what is the wrong with you?” Niall was yelling.

Louis frowned “ what"

Niall walked inside “ I was trying to call you, Eleanor called me and scared the shit out of me, she was trying to call you since last night and obviously you weren’t answering, where the hell have you been? What are you doing?”

Louis massaged his temples “ have you finished?”

Niall still watching him furiously 

Louis “ I am okay"

Niall nodded “ and?”

“ what is going on?” deep voice came from the baloney both turned to see Harry standing there 

Niall looked at Louis and then at Harry again, then at Louis, he then nodded

“ so this what was happening?”

Louis took a deep breath, he looked at Harry “ it’s okay Harry, I am sure you remember Niall”

Harry nodded " sure, how are you?"

Niall tried to smile he nodded his head, but Harry could sense the tension in the air 

“ okay.. i will get ready and leave you two to talk"

Louis nodded smiling, and then Harry disappeared,  
Naill looked at Louis “ what is the hell?”

Louis “ stop yelling”

Niall “ are you? Is there something happening between you? Oh god , he is the Harry right? what about Eleanor, why didn't you tell me?"

“.shhh.. shut up"

Niall gasped “ oh my God, Louis what are you doing?”

Louis finally sighed “ I don’t know, but this is what I always wanted”

Niall “ what does it even mean? You sad you forgot about him?”

“ I lied.. okay"

“ but when did this happen?”

Louis “ at the hospital I guess.. I mean I don’t know it just happened, and then he showed up yesterday and we spent the day together, nothing important happened?”

Niall “ Louis, you slept together..”

“ nothing happened”

“ you love him"

“ he loves me back"

Niall shook His head in disbelief “ I was there with you, why didn’t you say anything?"

“ I wasn’t sure Niall, and then he showed up at my place"

Niall closed his eyes “ please tell me you told him about Eleanor?”

Louis looked down, Niall opened his eyes and looked at him 

“ oh my God.. you didn’t? what are you doing? What do you expect will happen when he knows"

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know, I .. I don’t know, all I know is I am happy, we are finally together”

“ you can’t be together Louis, you have a girlfriend for God sake"

Louis huffed “ I know, I know Niall, and I know that this is wrong but I don’t know how to fix this, I don’t even think i want to fix this”

Niall “ God Lou..” then he stopped talking, Louis looked at Niall then he looked behind him

“ am I interrupting anything?” Harry asked.

Louis smiled “ no, I was just telling Niall about you"

Harry smiled looking at Niall, then he looked at Louis “ okay I have to go, are you sure everything is fine"

Louis nodded smiling “ yeah, yeah sure. So when can I see you again?”

Harry blushed “ tomorrow..” then he looked at Niall “ nice to meet you again"

Niall nodded tried to smile, then Harry was walking when Louis called him Harry stopped and Louis followed him.

When Louis returned he was smiling wide and when Niall saw him he shook his head in frustration “ why are you doing this?”

Louis walked and sat on the table, he looked down and it was like it finally hit him

" I can’t lose him again Niall, you don’t understand”

Niall “ I do, I do understand, but you obviously don’t!  
what about Eleanor? What are you gonna say to her she expecting you to propose she saw the ring Louis"

Louis looked at Niall and didn’t talk, Niall huffed “ she asked me last week, she said she saw the ring and she is just waiting, how can you explain this shit to her now"

Louis looked down, Niall sighed “ Louis, listen I know the history you had with Harry, but right now.. if you kept going into this you will hurt both of them, you have to pick"

“ I can’t..”

“ you must Louis, you must”

 

***** 

Two weeks later, Harry was walking in the supermarket, talking on the phone

“ yes Liam I am okay I am sure”

He then sighed “ yes I will tell him tonight about it, I promise, fine see you tomorrow, bye"

He put his phone down in his pocket, then he heard 

 

“ oh my God Harry styles?”

Harry looked in front of him, he frowned then he opened his eyes wide

“ Eleanor?”

She smiled and she walked towards him and gave him a hug, Harry didn’t like it, he didn’t like her before and he wasn’t going to like her now.

“ what are you doing here?” she asked.

He tried to smile and act nice “ I live here, and you?”

She smiled excitedly “ oh God me too, what do you work now? Oh my God I haven’t seen you since forever”

He nodded, yes since the prom he wanted to say 

“ well I am a doctor now"

She looked amazed “ wow! Really!!”

He nodded “ and you?”

She shook.her head “ I am not working, but I am getting married soon actually to..”

Harry’s phone rang again, it was like he was saved by the bell, 

" I am so sorry, I have to pick this, it was ery nice to meet you, hope to see you again" 

he excused himself and he answered his Phone 

“ Louis.. how are you?”

“ where are you? I am waiting”

Harry smiled “ missed me already?”

“ you know i did" 

Harry smiled “ you won’t believe who I just met"

Louis “ I don’t care, get your ass here right now"

Harry laughed “ on my way"

****** 

Louis was waiting impatiently for Harry, he tried to distract himself by watching some TV shows, he decided to tell him everything, it had been two weeks and he couldn't go on in this, he felt like he would lose his mind and it was unfair for both if them, but when the doorbell rang he jumped up and moved to the door walking perfectly now with his crutches, heart beating fast and he was nervous 

He opened the door then he froze.

“ surprise..” Eleanor screamed, then she looked at his leg “ oh God what happened to you?”

Louis didn’t talk, he was still looking at her shockingly, what was she doing here? Now?

She Let herself in, and she was extremely worried about Louis

“baby when did this happen? How come you never told me!"

Louis finally found words “ it’s okay I am fine.. why.. you came early I wasn’t expecting you”

She smiled “ wanted to make me a welcome surprise?”

He tried to smile but he couldn’t, he had to do something and it had to be now, Harry was on the way, but he already knew he screwed up 

She looked gain at his leg “ are you okay? Is it broken?”

He closed his eyes “ Eleanor I have to tell you something important”

She looked at him and then she smiled 

“ oh my God, it’s happening”

“ what? No, nothing is happening.. I .. shit.. I am so sorry, but we are not..”

 

The doorbell rang again, she looked at Louis frowning then she walked and opened the door before he can even move.

 

“ Harry?” she said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter next
> 
> Not a happy ending though.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter 
> 
> Enjoy❤

“ what is going on?” 

Harry asked getting inside louis' house. He saw Louis was standing there pale and shaking, he looked back at Eleanor and then he closed his eyes in understanding.

“ what a coincidence Harry!” Eleanor said looking sceptical

Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis “ please tell me it’s not what I think it is"

Louis was still looking down, he didn’t talk he didn’t move. He knew he screwed up and there was nothing to do

“ what is going on here guys? When did you meet?” 

Eleanor asked again looking between Harry and Louis  
Then she took few steps towards Louis “ Lou, what is going on? Why are you like this"

Louis finally raised his head, he looked at Eleanor but she gasped “ baby, why are you crying? Harry what is going on?” she asked looking at Harry 

Harry didn’t talk he just looked down,

“ I think you should leave El” Louis finally said

“ what!! But why? What did I do? What is going on between both of you, Louis I need answers"

Harry looked at Louis and Louis felt Harry’s eyes were on him, he took a Deep breath “ I will explain everything later, now.. Would you please go"

She started to cry “ Louis, you are scaring me, why?”

Then she walked to Harry and she stopped in front of him “ what did you do to him? What did you tell him Harry? I know your games and I..”

“ Eleanor !!” Louis yelled and Harry and Eleanor both startled.

Harry looked at Eleanor “ I didn’t do anything”

She yelled “ then what is going on?” 

Louis yelled back “ I told you I will explain everything later, now just leave us"

“ no"

“ no!”

“ I am your girlfriend I need to know"

Louis looked at Harry he heard him gasping and when he looked at him Harry was looking down shutting his eyes.

Louis groaned “ God Eleanor why do you have to be stubborn.. I asked you to leave then you should fucking leave"

“ don’t yell at her" it was Harry who yelled this time.

Louis looked at him, Harry was looking at him angry and all his body was shaking

“ she doesn’t deserve this, she needs to know what is going on, I need to know what is going on, how could you do this to us Louis, how could you do this to me?”

Eleanor looked at Harry “ what do you mean? What did he do to you?”

Harry looked at her then he stopped talking, Eleanor “ oh my God... oh my God, with him? With Harry?”

She was looking at Louis, Louis lost his mind now, he wanted her to leave, he wanted to explain to Harry what was going on, he wanted to apologize and explain and make everything right again

He looked at her “ yes Eleanor, with him, with Harry, you always knew I loved him, you always knew my feelings"

“ oh God" it was Harry, he then gave them his back ready to leave, but Louis almost jumped and grabbed his forearm strongly,

He looked between the two of them “ you are asking for the truth, so you will hear it now”

Harry stopped and he looked at him, Louis left his arm when he knew he wasn’t leaving anymore

“ Two weeks ago, I broke my leg, and when I went to the hospital out of every doctor at the universe Harry was the doctor..”

He looked at Harry “ when you told me that you needed a second chance I couldn’t tell you about Eleanor I just couldn’t, I won’t lose you again Harry”

Harry scolded “ and how is this will make you win me back Louis? God why are you so selfish”

“ I know"

But Harry yelled “ you don’t, this proves that you know nothing about people feelings, you just care about yourself Louis, as always, fuck. Why do I keep doing this to myself, why I keep pushing myself to the limits when It comes to you" 

Louis was crying now, he deserved every single word  
He then looked at Eleanor 

“ I never liked you Eleanor, ever since high school, but if I had the chance to know that you were together I would never ask for another chance, but trust me even if I don’t like you, you don’t deserve him because he will hurt you over and over again, he will drain all the live you have for h and then leave you alone..”

Louis looked at Harry, he knew Harry was talking about him

Harry looked down “ I loved you, but I just I won’t do this anymore, I can’t let time make it up for me as always, I don’t have time"

He wiped his tears and he tried to take a deep breath but his face changed, it was full of pain 

“ I can’t see your face anymore Louis, I don’t know why exactly happened to you, you aren’t the one I loved and wanted before” he looked at his face “ I want you to hear me good, I hate you Louis Tomlinson and I don’t want to see your face again"

And then without any other word Harry left the full house, Louis looked down gasping for air realizing he was holding his breath, he felt Eleanor also was leaving but she stopped, she looked at him

“ I always knew you loved him, I knew you hurt h a lot, but this is the worse Louis, not after what you did to him"

He looked at her, she nodded “ Gigi told me everything and no he doesn’t deserve any of this, neither do I”

Then she left.

Louis looked around him and he shook his head angry at himself. Harry was right he was selfish and he hurt Harry so much, ever since they were kids and he never made it up for him, he never tried, he never was sure that he really wanted Harry this way, and when he finally knew it he also hurt him over and over again.  
He didn’t deserve Harry.

 

****** 

 

When the doorbell rang Louis huffed, he didn’t want to leave his bed, he didn’t want to contact with anyone, he didn’t want anything at all.

It has been three days since Harry found out about Eleanor, three days and Louis never left his bed didn’t call anyone, didn’t answer anyone.

The doorbell stopped but his Phone went off, unknown number, this number was haunting him over the last three days so he finally picked up 

“ open the fucking door Tomlinson, I know you are in there" 

Louis was shocked “ Zayn?”

“ yes him, open the door"

Louis huffed and he left his Phone and moved to open The door, once he saw Zayn, Zayn yelled

“ I would break your other leg right now"

Louis didn’t talk, Zayn got inside and closed the door behind him

“ really? Hiding? Now"

Louis huffed “ what do you want Zayn?"

Zayn looked at him “ I want you to use your head for once Louis, stop spoiling your fucking life nd start doing something good"

Louis scolded “ what are you talking about”

“ Harry?”

Louis closed his eyes “ you don’t understand”

“ enlighten me then"

Louis looked down, Zayn sighed “ Eleanor told gigi, I tried to call him but he didn’t answer, I didn’t expect he will actually”

Louis nodded and then he walked to sit in the couch, Zayn followed him, he didn’t sit he was watching him

“ are you gonna sit and do nothing?” 

Louis shook his head “ what should I do Zayn? He doesn’t want to see my face gain, he hates me”  
“ of course he does”

“ then what should I do"

Zayn “ anything, you can do anything, something, show him that you actually care Louis, show h fro once that you needed him, that you not taking his for granted"

Louis yelled “ how? I don’t know how"

“ you never tried” Zayn yelled back, he took a deep breath and sat by Louis “ I have been there Louis, all over your life, I have seen him trying every time so hard not to lose you, I have seen him struggling and fighting his feelings so he won’t lose you, but on the other hand I know you knew about his feelings, I knew you had the same feelings but I also knew you were scared, you wanted him but you didn’t want to confess to yourself and to the others about who you really are. I know you had your own fight too but you were losing man, you kept losing and you wanted to fight alone and lose alone"

Louis said crying “ it’s too late now"

“ it’s never too late, what is wrong with you? Why can’t you fight right for once, why don’t you try to win?”

Louis shook his head “ I don’t know how?”

“ go for him, go find him and stay there, don’t leave his side.. let h be angry at you, let him yell and scream and blame you, he wants you as much as you want him Louis”

Louis took a deep breath “ tell me what to do"

Zayn chuckled “ you know what to do, you don’t need my help, go Louis, win him”

Louis was still looking at Zayn and then he smiled “ God I miss you"

Zayn smiled back and he embraced him “ I miss you too idiot, and I need a closure, stop playing Tom and Gerry and start something, it worth it, he worth it"

Louis nodded looking down “ he does, yes he does” 

 

****** 

 

Louis stopped the cape in front of Harry’s house, he left the car looking at the house knowing that this was the moment of the truth. 

This moment would define him forever, it would change his life forever. He was trying to win Harry but he didn’t know what was the next hours holding for him.

He pressed the doorbell looking at Harry’s car parking, it meant Harry was inside. The door wasn’t opened, so pressed again and waited. Something bothered him, he was smelling a weird smell. This it hit him, it was smokes.

Louis walked to look through the Windows but he couldn’t see Harry, he walked to the back of the house and he saw smoke was coming from the kitchen, his heart dropped what was happening there. He entered through the back door and walked directly to the kit hem, it was full with smokes, Harry forgot the stove opened and the food was burned. He looked above him and he wondered why the fire sprinkler system didn’t work.

He didn’t know what to do, and he needed to find Harry, he left the kitchen and was calling his name, he started to cough badly and his eyes burned and that scared the shit out of him.

He froze.

Harry was lying outside the kitchen on the floor on his back, 

“ Harry..” 

he yelled as strong as he can, he threw Gus crutches and he knelt forgetting about the pain and he crawled to Harry, he touched him but he realized Harry was unconscious.

He patted his cheek, he shook his body strongly and there was no respond, he put his head on his chest and he couldn’t her anything. He started to.get dizzy and he knew he had to be outside so as Harry.

He stood up leaning on his broken leg, carrying Harry under his arms and he dragged him away, he was crying out of pain, his chest was also burning and he was about to vomit, but he needed to focus on Harry.  
After a long struggle, Harry and Louis were outside the house at the back garden, Louis let Harry on the ground and he sat beside him, he put his phone outside and called 999, 

“ what is your emergency?”

“ yes, yes my friend's house is full is smoke I don’t know what is wrong, he is not breathing”

“ okay, calm down, are you out of the smoke?”

“ yes, but he is not breathing”

“ I've already sent an ambulance, tell me sir, how ‘re you can you stop coughing and breath well"

Louis didn’t know he was coughing “ yes.. I yell me what to do"

“ okay, do you know how to perform CPR?”

He remembered taking some classes “ I think”

“ okay. Tell me what do you see, did you know if he hurt his head?”

“ I wasn’t there, I came and he was already passed out"

“ can you check His body for any bruises, don’t press his chest if it was blue, maybe you will make things worse"

Louis put the phone on speaker, and checked Harry's head, he felt nothing wrong

“ his head seems okay"

he then raised his shirt and then he gasped, there was a huge scar upon his chest, Louis cried 

“ oh God, oh Harry"

He knew it was an old cut since the accident but his heart wrenched and he felt he couldn’t move

“ sir, are you with me? What do you see?”

Louis started at the cut, he didn’t talk, he didn’t hear what was Sid to him, he didn’t hear the ambulance when it came, he didn’t hear the medics talking to him, he just saw Harry taking to the ambulance and he followed them he didn’t leave his side he didn’t.

 

***** 

 

“ oh my God this is Harry” 

Louis heard someone said when they were at the hospital, he looked at the man and he knew who he was, but he didn’t remember his name. 

The man rushed to Harry and he checked his pulse, he took the details from the medics and then he looked at Harry again guiding the stretcher to an empty emergency room, they closed the door behind them leaving Louis alone.

Louis looked around him, the place was crowded people were everywhere, the sounds were getting louder and louder and he felt he couldn’t breath, okay he wasn’t panicking, he just Can’t now, he needed to see Harry and to make sure Harry was okay. 

He didn’t know how time had passed when the door was opened again, Harry was rushed outside on the stretcher passing Louis, and then he disappeared inside the elevator, Louis wanted to get in but he felt a hand grabbing his wrest, when Louis looked it was the man from earlier 

“ Louis, I am liam, I am Harry's friend, he is getting into a surgery, can i call anyone for you, are you okay?”

Louis wasn’t okay, he wasn’t understanding anything, he just started at him not talking,

Liam “ I called Zayn, he is Harry's friend too and he said he was on his way.. I have to go, pray for him" he squeezed his shoulder and left.

Again he was alone, again he wasn’t understanding what was happening around him, but he remembers Zayn's name was mentioned so he took His phone from his pocket and he dialled his number 

When Zayn answered Louis heard his sniffles first “ I am on my way Louis, hang on there body"

“ Harry..” that what he could say

“ I know, I know, I am on my way"

Louis put his phone down and he sat on the nearest chair waiting, but waiting for what he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything at all, all he could figure out that Harry was nearly suffocated by the smokes in his flutes but he felt there was something else, something bigger that this.

It wasn’t long time when Zayn showed up in front of Louis, when Louis saw him he jumped up finally see face he knew.

“ anything?” Zayn asked 

Louis shook his head “ no one told me anything”

Zayn nodded and looked around him “ okay wait for me here"

And he walked leaving Louis again alone.  
Maybe Zayn took longer than Louis expected, maybe Louis lost track of time and he thought Zayn was late. But Louis left his set and went looking for Zayn.

But when he saw him he felt panic was rushing through his veins, Zayn was standing leaning on the wall, In front of him the doctor that called himself Liam, he was squeezing Zayn's shoulder and Zayn was actually crying.

 

Louis almost ran towards them but his leg didn’t respond this time, the pain was too much that he fell and drew the attention to him.

Zayn and Liam were the ones who reached him first, they helped him to sit on the nearest chair, Louis was looking at Zayn's tears 

“ he is not dead right?”

Zayn looked at him “ no, he is not"

“ then why are you crying”

Zayn looked down, while Liam talked “ he is out of surgery, he is in ICU"

Louis looked at Liam and then he looked back at Zayn who was crying again

Liam started “ he wanted to tell you Louis, before your fight he was going to tell you"

Louis was now crying too, although he didn’t know what happened but he knew it was something bad

“ do you know about the accident?” Liam asked.

Louis nodded “ yeah, he told me he had an accident .. but he.. God what is going on?”

Liam wiped his tears too “ that accident caused a huge damage on his heart, it weakened his heart very much and we knew that his heart was at a possible risk of a heart attack, and if it happened then his heart wouldn’t take it"

Louis whispered “ what are you talking about, please”

Liam said finally “ he had a heart attack, it wasn’t the smoke, maybe it made it worse but he was already fainted before the smoke started”

Louis frowned “ what does it mean?”

Liam shook his head “ he is not gonna make it" and he let the tears fall.

Louis looked at Zayn who was now covering his face with his hands body shaking from his sobs. 

Louis shook his head “ no"

Liam “ he is not breathing by his own, and his body's organs are shutting down"

Louis looked down, then he looked at Zayn who looked back at him and nodded.

He then gasped, that was truly happening, Harry was dying. Louis covered his mouth to shut the screams but he was embraced by Zayn who then hugged him tightly and together they cried.

 

Liam accepted to let Louis say his goodbyes, he finally let him enter the room where Harry was. Louis entered after Zayn who was now not crying, he gained his strength back, Louis knew he was doing it for him.

When Louis entered the room, Zayn was supporting him, he saw Harry on the huge bed, machines were surrounding him, the room was so cold and it was awfully silent except for the sounds of his heartbeats  
Zayn helped him to sit on the chair and then he patted his shoulder whispering 

“ I will be outside”

 

Louis nodded and he slowly looked back at Harry, and he felt was teasing him. After all this years when they had the real chance, when Louis gathered himself finally knowing what he really wanted, Harry was dying 

 

“ I can’t believe you are doing this to me Harry" Louis started “ after all this history together after all the fights and heartbroken conversations.. you decided to leave me this way? You could choose anything else Harry, you could get married or have some kids or travel outside the kingdom, but this?”

He wiped his tears “ I feel this is a joke”

He then stopped, and he held Harry’s hand between his, he patted his hand softly “ you are punishing me really hard Harry, I could barely survive here"

He looked at Harry’s face, pale with closed eyes, the tube was out of his mouth and it caused pain yo Louis throat that he coughed

He then looked at Harry’s hand “ I still have things to say, I have the most important thing to tell you Harry”

Then he closed his eyes “ I am sorry, I am so so sorry for everything..” 

Then he opened his eyes and looked at Harry “ for the prom.. I should have taken you not anyone, for Sarah.. for believing her and not you, God I am sorry for your wedding, for Bella, for your accident”

then he cried “ God Harry I missed everything but I am here to see you die"

He cried harder now “ how could you be that selfish? I am here to say goodbye? God I am not even ready.. I am not ready Harry please, don’t leave me"

He took a deep breath and wiped all his tears “ I won’t forgive myself Harry, please forgive me, I am sorry”

Then he felt it. He felt Harry’s hand pressed softly his hand. He gasped and he looked at Harry’s face “ oh my God do you hear me?”

Another press.

Louis laughed “ oh God.. you will be okay baby, you will be fine..”

But then he heard the long peep.

At the start he didn’t understand, he knew the sound but he didn’t understand, but when the door was opened and Liam rushed inside with some nurses, when he started to shock Harry several times, it was when he realized.

He felt that he was pushed away and then the door was closed, then he saw Zayn hugging him crying loudly, he knew it now, he knew Harry died .

Harry died.

 

***** 

Sometimes later,

Louis was at the graves, he was holding flowers and he looked older now, wearing black. He was alone when he was walking to Harry's tomb. He put the flowers down and he looked at the stone reading the same thing again and again,

“’hi Harry” he started

“ it has been three years now my friend, I still miss you and I still dream of you daily" he then smiled “ same dream everyday"

He then looked down “ hope you are Happy where ever you are, and yes don't worry about me I am okay"

Then he shook his head “ I will be okay"

He then nodded to himself “ I met someone, well it was arranged by Zayn and Gigi, but he is okay though”

He smiled “not handsome like you , but I will him a shot like I promised them" 

He then looked at the stone again “ I miss you Harry, I miss you so much.. I will come again soon, wait for me mate"

Then he took a few minutes staying there doing nothing, then he walked away leaving.

He was trying to be okay, he was trying to be a better man for the people around him, for his friends and for himself,

He knew he will miss Harry and he will never forget about him, but at least he wasn’t scared any more, he knew what he wanted and why he loved. 

So yes he will try to be better .

The end .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it ❤

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the dark , my kids were sleeping beside me, so sorry for any mistakes,


End file.
